Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Ganon27

Just Found Out :
Feeling hollow

This Topic is Archived
default

 Nest2007 (original poster member #39532) posted at 5:24 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

It's a month and two days since DDay, three days since the end of TT and I got full disclosure. I believe now that I have the truth, the whole truth... You know the drill.

But I just feel hollow. I have nothing left to give in social situations. The A consumes my thoughts yet it's something I cannot, will not talk about except with WH and our MC/my IC.

My family is visiting this weekend and I'm dreading the charade I'll have to put on for the next 24hrs.

When do I start to feel like me again?

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

posts: 230   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Here and there...
id 6405432
default

mysticpenguin ( member #38839) posted at 5:36 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

Oh Nest :( I'm so sorry you're hurting.

TT is a killer. :(

I am 5 months out from D-Day and 2 months out from the whole enchilada (the delivery of a timeline) and am also having family visit this weekend and I am wondering the very same thing.

I have found my personality and joy and emotions, that took maybe a month after D Day. With each piece of new info I found myself in shock/numb for a few days, then breathtakingly sad, then angry, then calmer but still sad / low.

Is there someone in your family you can confide in? My mother-in-law and cousin (she's twice my age and wise) know and it's nice to know I'm not carrying this secret around on my own, you know?

One moment at a time. You can always say you're not feeling well (headache or ate something bad) to explain away a somber expression.

Betrayed

posts: 306   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2013
id 6405440
default

Dare2Trust ( member #21183) posted at 7:49 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

Nest,

Can I ask --

Why have you made the decision to not disclose your WH's affair to any close friends or family members who could support you?

You did nothing wrong. It's not your dirty-little-secret. So, why should you be denied the love and support you need?

It may be awhile before you're feeling "like yourself again." You just received full disclosure 3 days ago: SO, mentally and emotionally - this is almost like "another D-Day."

It's almost like a shock wave, when our cheating spouses hit us with TT, It sort of cranks us back to ZERO; and we have to start all over again; dealing with the NEW TRUTHS of the affair.

I'm so sorry for the pain and turmoil you're going through. It does get better...but it takes time: LOTS MORE TIME than a month and 3 days.

It's great your have a MC/IC you to help you.

Me BS 59
WH 58
Married 19 years
D-Day Nov 3, 2005
Child: Adopted Daughter 21 College Student now

I can understand being alone; but I hate being with someone and feeling lonely.

posts: 6216   ·   registered: Oct. 8th, 2008   ·   location: PA
id 6405503
default

 Nest2007 (original poster member #39532) posted at 7:55 AM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

I know I did nothing wrong, but my choice for recovery is not to alter my friends' and family's perception of WH and our marriage. Revelation of the A would irrevocably change that and I am not prepared to do that. This is a decision I made and I am comfortable with - WH even offered to confess all to whoever I deemed necessary. I chose not to make him do that.

One close friend out of state knows. That's it.

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

posts: 230   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Here and there...
id 6405505
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:51 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

Dont put on the a charade, let them know that you are having a hard time with life in general now, and that you prefer not to share or discuss. Apologize for not being yourself, but ask for the respect and support you deserve.

(((and strength)))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6405648
default

 Nest2007 (original poster member #39532) posted at 1:29 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2013

Thanks tushnurse, that's a great approach - gives reasons without giving THE reason. Much appreciated...

BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.

posts: 230   ·   registered: Jun. 12th, 2013   ·   location: Here and there...
id 6406454
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy