SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

wifeno2 posted 7/12/2013 06:27 AM

Yet another officer had an A with one of the analysts. Now that analyst has attempted suicide and apparently this is how the A was discovered. I'm not even sure how many officers have now been caught cheating but I know that many of them have been with the same few analysts. WH gets so mad at me when I tell him I believe the work environment isn't marriage safe. That for whatever reason that particular area he works in the culture has somehow allowed, fostered or encouraged infidelity. (He says I am saying that the department is "bad" and not doing good work. Gotta love black and white thinking)

I wish I knew the wife better. I have met her, she is sweet and beautiful. The analyst was definitely an affair down. I am actually better acquainted with the WH. And I am very surprised that he would cheat on his wife. I hope that they find SI-especially the BW.

silverhopes posted 7/12/2013 12:42 PM

He says I am saying that the department is "bad" and not doing good work. Gotta love black and white thinking

Hmm. Well considering that instead of working they're having affairs...? Sounds like a lot of people in his department have really crap boundaries. Work is not for dating prospects, especially if you have a family at home. While it's the individuals' responsibilities to have better boundaries, the HR department could sure try harder to discourage this kind of thing. Even if it's from a technically "work productivity" perspective rather than a personal one.

Lovedyoumore posted 7/12/2013 13:09 PM

HR departments that require signed acknowledgements that the anti fraternization rules are known and understood still have employees that date and cheat with each other. Why would a cheater who ignores a vow to a spouse before God even care what HR requires?

The work place has always been the hot bed of cheating. But, with the everything goes, do what feels good generation, boundaries are nearly non existent. Now the non cheating, strong boundary people are considered freaks or are being controlled by a non trusting spouse. How many men are taunted by a future OW that a refusal to have an innocent lunch means the H is being controlled by an suspicious wife?

It does not matter where you work, even in a church. Infidelity is only a yes away.

silverhopes posted 7/12/2013 13:14 PM

True, HR couldn't prevent affairs. People will poor boundaries will have them no matter where they go. But maybe HR could frown on them more explicitly. Even if it doesn't prevent affairs, it sort of diffuses the "anything goes" environment that some workplaces can promote.

confused615 posted 7/12/2013 13:17 PM

Maybe you could call her and recommend SI?

wifeno2 posted 7/12/2013 16:25 PM

I don't want to call her because I don't know her. But I did send a message very indirectly.

And I agree that A's happen everywhere. And work is a hotbed. But I do wish the culture there would be a little less tolerant...And that takes more than just leadership, it would have to be a change among all the officers, admin staff etc.