"Hope is a thing that once released, either fulfills itself or dies..." (but how long do we watch it fly?)
Why not give yourself permission to file and not to file? Or remind yourself that filing is just part of the process?
Working on yourself may be a good idea, but there's no need to call yourself a name that sounds bad.
So he says the right things sometimes... What do his actions say?
I don't have answers for you, but I can share my story and agree that you have to look at the actions and not listen to the words. They will say anything.