Sharing feelings with someone you don't trust is scary and not necessarily effective, and you have lots of reasons not to trust your H. In other words, I think I understand your reluctance.
At the same time, if you want to R, he has to be with you, and you have to find whatever you need that will allow you to share, for 2 reasons.
First, sharing feelings helps R succeed. Sharing feelings brings people together.
Second, this tests your WS. If he provides support when you're sad and scared and listens non-defensively when you vent your anger, you both win. If he doesn't, and if he doesn't learn how to do these things, you have some evidence for why R isn't going well.
Sharing feelings seem to make you weaker, but actually it is an exercise in strength. Try it out - if he steps up, do more. If he doesn't, you can find someone else to provide emotional support (like an IC, not like a new partner - I'm opposed to looking for a new partner until you dump your current one).
I hope he'll deliver - but no one will know how he'll respond until you test him.
[This message edited by sisoon at 1:21 PM, July 12th (Friday)]