My husbands first marriage ended in divorce because of his wife's infidelity.
According to him, after 18 years of marriage, she was bored, he worked too much & she cheated. He didn't know (?), she said she wanted space, he moved out & ask for counseling. They met for counseling the first time, she was already there. When he walked in she said, "I want the house. X amount of spousal support, X amount of child support, half your retirement, the paper work is being drawn up." So they divorced. She got all of those things & everything else. He gave her everything. I think he thinks "nice her back"
He said it wasn't until 3 years after divorce he found out she cheated. He never told me how or with whom.
I DO know she had somewhat of a revolving bedroom door for awhile & that an UNDERAGE boy, I think 14-15 no older than 15 was one of the ppl benefiting from it. I don't know anymore than that & that part is not from hubs & I think he would lie for her.
He doesn't know yet, I "outed" the underage molestation to family members. I didn't know, nor did I do it on purpose but I dont take it back. This was 25+ years ago & she hasn't re-offended but none the less, she DID molest a kid.
My husbands first marriage was his everything. It really was. I can not undo anything & I'M not a side piece.
I think, (just me thinking here) but I think because he doesn't value our marriage, he could do what he did & not view it as actually cheating.
I feel VERY used in a sick, back & forth game between he & his first wife. She has always played games in 13+ years. His responses are always inappropriate for a committed married man & I guess the only thing which has saved our relationship thus far has been the limited exposure to the ex.
There is some sort if tie there. I don't know how to give it a name.
I told my husband, "I have always felt like there was something about ex which you respond to that I don't posess. I don't take it personally." I just felt like we were different but he was committed. I think he was for a time. I think he has "backslid".
I don't even care what it is about her that "does it" for him. I have nothing but complete distaste in my mouth for ex. If that's what he wants. Well that's what he gets.
I told my husband the adage "There is no fool like an old fool" comes to mind. It completely shut him up. Guilty knowledge.