I feel for you, I'm here for you. Please take care of you, you, you, and your beautiful children.
Sorry you found your way to our club. The club no one ever wanted to be a member of.
Please know this is a safe place. One of healing, one of caring, one of support.
Please take some time to wrap your head and heart around this devastating news.
You are in shock and rightfully so. This information is too much for your mind and body to absorb. Your feeling numb is your body's response to the news. Completely normal.
You don't have to make any major decisions right now. Just take it one day at a time.
Please go to the upper right hand corner and start reading everything you can in the healing library. Read, read, read. Knowledge is power.
Did your husband admit to the affair?
Is he sorry, remorseful?
Hang in there and know you aren't alone.
As for the family vacation, that is a tricky one. Many would not go. We had one scheduled for about a month after I discovered my WH's affair and decided to go anyway. It was a mixed bag. A year later, I don't know whether it was good or bad. I think I ended up going because the kids and I were really looking forward to it, and I didn't want it to be yet one more thing he destroyed for us KWIM?
Anyway, just take it one day at a time for now. Maybe use the time he is gone to do some sleuthing. See if you can figure out more of what is going on with the ex?
If you have not already, please look in the upper left corner, where the yellow box is and click on The Healing Library. Start reading. Read any post in this forum that has a bulls-eye next to it. There is really good information for you in all of those places articles that have been written by people who have been there.
I would suggest that while he is gone on "business," would be a perfect time for you to go see a lawyer and find out what your rights are, for both separation and divorce. You need not do anything about it at this time, however knowledge is power and you need to know ultimately what you are entitled to should you need it. I would also take this time to read up on the 180 (link here http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11 ) and think long and hard about what YOU want and need. Frankly, most men don't only have an EA they want to get past that part quickly and get to the physical part of the affair. So since you already know that your WH is a liar, I would not trust his word on that one little bit. Several Big Fat Red Flags are waiving with you finding out that he has quit his ADs and has lied to you about money. Yet another reason to see that lawyer. I sincerely doubt that he did both of those actions for your betterment.
And please, keep coming back for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012