Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: blkgld

Reconciliation :
Update on too little too late?

This Topic is Archived
default

 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 8:15 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

IC was yesterday late afternoon. I guess I was hoping to hear that I was being too demanding, that I wasn't hearing what he was telling me. It would be easier then I could change me.

IC is also our MC and h's new IC. He said that he thinks h still has not faced his actions. Wants to just do the easy stuff and move on.

I was shown that last night. I was feeling frustrated and a bit angry. Not screaming but not using my gentle tone of voice. He became defensive, refused to listen to me. I really wasn't being loud or abusive.

I was telling him how much it hurts when he tells me he is going to do something I ask for and that it never happens. That it hurts more than if he said nothing.

He says he is doing everything possible and it is me that will not accept it.

I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be alone and not feel like second choice or consolation prize.

I will give a bit more time. A few more sessions with new IC and reevaluate.

I am detaching and I am not even trying.

Going away for a couple of days alone and looking forward to it. Never felt this way before.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6406163
default

Knowing ( member #37044) posted at 9:55 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

I know what you are referring to. Our WS has promised a better M in R and when they don't live up to that it's completely disheartening, unfair and wrong. Time will tell if S is what you really want. It's nice that you have that kind of insight with your MC/IC.

BW, R last 4 years of marriage out of 15... FINALLY, HAPPILY DIVORCING!

We are in R.

posts: 698   ·   registered: Oct. 5th, 2012
id 6406284
default

Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 9:56 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2013

Detaching is good, cantaccept. Wasn't it just a week or two ago he went to IC and called saying he would do anything? And since then what has happened? Nothing.

Stand firm. It.is.not.you.

Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

posts: 8016   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2011
id 6406285
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy