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Our wedding anniversary is on Monday. Last anniversary she was full force in her A. My WW told me a couple months ago she wanted to rewrite vows for me. I haven't pushed it I actually hope she doesn't. I think there is so much more work to do on her part. I am not even ready to hear new vows from her. I would rather see her digging deep than writing new vows. That would mean more to me. I don't have anything planned and no expectations. I am pretty ok with that since I have always planned and gave her lavish gifts for our anniversaries.

I have been working on me lately. I am working on my co-dependancy and happiness. Its been a very self reflecting journey the past few weeks. I am a bit drained but doing ok.

I think that if you aren't ready for new vows that you should tell her.
My wh was also having an A during our anniversary, it's a sore subject for me. I warned him not to even mention the words. He didn't listen the firs 4 years, and it did not end well. This year he finally listened. He's a slow learner.

You sound like you're in a really healthy place, all things considered.

You've expressed yourself really well here. Hopefully you've been able to say these exact things to her so that she is armed with your true feelings and thoughts.

I agree with the others that you need to tell her how you are feeling.

You need to do this at your own pace and continue to work on your own healing however it's comfortable for you.