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Gottagetthrough posted 7/13/2013 21:26 PM

Damn. My kid has very fair skin. I am crazy about sunscreen. I am also fair and grew up at the pool, with tons of burns. As an adult, I have had skin problems, and even see a plastic surgeon regularly.

Damnit if I don't let my kid go to sil's( we are on vacation in the ils state and we see them 2 x a year). And she gets a burn!!!

I told her, if you go in sil pool, can you remember to put on sunscreen?

Oh yes, mom, aunt sally always puts on sunscreen, on all the kids.

I let mil drive my dad over to sil house, and I stay at mil house while my younger child naps.

My dd comes back to mil's with a burn. Mil at first denies its a burn, says its probably from her goggles. Then as the night goes on, and the burn comes out more, mil says, well the other kids didn't have any sunscreen on either. It was cloudy, I didn't think they needed it.


[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 9:40 PM, July 13th (Saturday)]

jrc1963 posted 7/13/2013 21:36 PM

I feel your pain... or I should say your DD's pain and your anger.

A few weeks back my kid came back from a visit at his dad's with 2nd degree sunburn.

We put aloe on him and kept him doped up on Ibuprofen. It helped.

(((DD and her sunburn)))

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 7/13/2013 21:38 PM

DD always got a yearly sunburn at my dad's- until the last one. It was really bad and I don't let her go without one of us, any more.

Some noxema might help it to not be too bad.

[This message edited by ThoughtIKnewYa at 9:39 PM, July 13th (Saturday)]

Gottagetthrough posted 7/13/2013 21:47 PM

Lol, I typed this so fast I realized it was a confusing read, so I went back and cleaned it up... And already had 2 responses :-) thank you for sympathizing

And yes, I will be present at play dates at sil house from now on. I have told my wh how angry I am.. I actually said, I'm not going to yell, I'm so pissed that I don't even know how to yell about this. I'm just going to say I'm really pissed off about this burn.

This is the 2nd time she's gotten a burn, when we were separated in 2010, wh had a week visit with the kids, and he took them to see the ILS. They were good about sunscreen, but forgot her head. She had pig tails and got a second degree burn in her part :-( when I emailed wh about this, his family said I was lying & trying to ruin their fun memories. No.... It was a blistering burn.

musiclovingmom posted 7/13/2013 22:40 PM

I'm fair skinned and get at least one good burn a year. It stinks, but plain white vinegar on a rag placed on the burn will take the burn out of it in a hurry.

FinallyHappy posted 7/14/2013 05:15 AM

I'm fair skinned and get at least one good burn a year. It stinks, but plain white vinegar on a rag placed on the burn will take the burn out of it in a hurry.

Yes! I've been reading several of the 'sunburn' threads lately, and couldn't believe that nobody advised white vinegar.

It made me doubt my own experience.

I've been burned so bad that I couldn't even move. Blisters, pain, blahblahblah.

Apply white vinegar via a soft rag on the burn.

It helps immeasurably and quite immediately. It allows one to sleep.

Aloe helps also, but not immediate.

Gottagetthrough posted 7/14/2013 07:29 AM

Thank you all

And damnit mil was taking my kid out of her house at 7 30 this morning! Without telling me!

I caught them going out the door, without sunscreen I might add, without letting me know she was taking my kid somewhere (outside)

I sprayed my kid down and said to go in if she was pout more than 20 min. I need to text her now to make sure she's not out in the sun again!!!!!

Seriously, who takes a kid out without telling the mom or dad???

Gottagetthrough posted 7/14/2013 07:30 AM

Love how I stuck to the i will always go with my kid from now on.....

Pissed with myself

jrc1963 posted 7/14/2013 08:31 AM

How old is DD?

How badly burnt is she?

I know when DS was burnt he didn't want to go anywhere... he couldn't even get dressed for two days.

If she's happy and up and moving about then she's probably ok.

Threnody posted 7/14/2013 11:13 AM

The "sticking with the kid" thing is a promise I have made myself, oh, about 25 times in 12 years. Shit happens, sweetie. You can't be there every minute and that's okay. It's not a defect in you.

As for your MIL -- there's a nice little workaround here. Right now, our local Walmart has absolutely adorable swim shirts and swim shorts for girls. I had to get creative this year because both Birdie Sue and Hedgehog are very fair-skinned and off doing their own thing with pals. I couldn't be around all the time to supervise the sunscreen use. So I told them I saw this awesome surfing gear (we live in landlocked, central Texas ) and would they like some? They agreed. Both girls won't go near the pool now without a swim shirt on over their suit, which at least protects their shoulders from the worst of it. I got them sunscreen sticks, too, and they're having great fun painting war stripes on themselves before heading out. It's not 100% coverage (ears and necks and the parts of the hair get pinked), but it's a crapton better than what I was dealing with.

Tapper, who's seven and acts like Monk most of the time, has worn a swim shirt for years because "it looks cool." It was easy to get his sisters to buy into the idea when they saw the colors and designs of the ones at Walmart.

Like I said, not foolproof but better. And sometimes with parenting, we can only hope for better.

As for MIL, tell her "the pediatrician said..." blah blah. It may make a small difference. But there are people my age (42, holy shit) who STILL don't use sunscreen regularly (me, holy shit again) even knowing the risks because it never became a habit in our youth. You may not ever be able to convince her to be careful. But you can do small things (like the shirts) to minimize the damage.

Good luck, honey. This parenting thing's a load of crap sometimes. If we're not fighting illness, we're fighting family, and when we're not doing either of those we're fighting out own kids. It's exhausting, and not very fun.

nowiknow23 posted 7/15/2013 12:00 PM


Gotta - I hope your DD's burn has eased.

lynnm1947 posted 7/15/2013 15:13 PM

Aloe is absolutely THE BEST sunburn cure. Keep applying it often, though. I have thin hair and will get a burn on my scalp with 15 minutes' exposure. Aloe deal with it. Kids don't much like aloe, though, because it tastes horrible if they have it on their mouths!

tabitha95 posted 7/16/2013 01:19 AM

Sorry about your little one. I wanted to also add that waterslides will rub sunblock off quickly. Poor DS13 had a horrible burn a month ago from this. It was only on his back. Everywhere else was Ok because we had applied sunblock, but it must have rubbed off his back. Just sharing so others can learn from our experience.

Gottagetthrough posted 7/16/2013 21:41 PM

Gah!!! Thank you all for your posts. Well, sunday the red was not that bad under her eyes, and I let her go back to sil's house On monday, with instructions to put sunscreen on all the time.

Yep, she came back with even more pink

Ugh. So, she wanted to have a sleepover at sil's that night, and I let her since it was night, and no sun was out. She came back to Mil's house ( where we are staying). And begged to go to SIL'S with her cousins. I made it clear to wh that she was not to play in the yard or pool. I asked him to tell his sister that.

Wh said, yeah, sil is only going to let them play indoors. I get whs phone and don't see any texts to his sister, so for good measure i text sil 'don't let Suzi go outside, OK.' Sil texts back, then come get her, we are going in the pool. I immediately went to sil house, and my kid was in a bathing suit. Wtf? She begged to go play with her cousins, so I slathered sunscreen on her and let her play 1 hour. Typing that now, I sound irresponsible, but when it was happening, it seemed overkill to make her go back to mil house and sit inside all day... She looks like a sunkissed pink. If you saw her you'd say, someone's been at the pool!

I don't know if wh lied about talking to sil or if sil went back on her promise to wh to not take dd outside.

Its lack of sunscreen, plain and simple. If you saw my dd, you'd say, oh, that kids been at the pool. She has fair skin and pink cheeks/under eyes.

Nothing horrific.

But my parents both had skin cancer, and I have had moles, etc removed BC of excessive sun exposure as a kid. I want to save my dd from that. I am a sunscreen fanatic.

And my mil keeps saying, how will she go to the water park if she can't go outside in the sun, how can she do this and that...

I finally got pissed and said who ever is with her needs to remember to put sunscreen on her... You guys didn't put it on enough.

Now mil is calling everyone and offering stupid advice about how dd can not get burnt. Damnit, we live 10 hours south. She has never had a burn.

I'm just pissed and walking a line between taking care of my kid & letting my kid have fun & build memories with her cousins.

Can't they play inside once in a while though? I don't get it... Its like sil is doing this to tick me off?

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 10:00 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]

jrc1963 posted 7/16/2013 22:51 PM

Where exactly is she sunburnt?

Gottagetthrough posted 7/17/2013 05:32 AM

Its just her face. Mostly, under her eyes... I think sil Either didn't put sunscreen on that area,if maybe they were in the pool too long & sun reflected back onto her face.

tushnurse posted 7/17/2013 07:45 AM

You do realize that in the grand scheme of life a minor sunburn over several days like this will NOT impact her very much. I love how there are hot topic medical issues and they are reported as an all or none thing.

A bit pink to a slight peel will not be a big deal. It is when there are blisters, or the fresh skin under a bad peel that came from a bad burn gets burnt that it starts the overproduction of the bad stuff that can eventually lead to skin cancers.

Sun is good for all of us. We get Vitamin D from the sun. There is an epidemic of people in the US that have low levels of vitamin D from avoiding the sun, keeping themselves covered and use of high SPF's.

My point is yah it was irresponsible of your SIL, but take a breath. It will be OK. Let her enjoy the trip, and make sure that she knows she needs to ask to have sunscreen applied if she can't do it, or she will be punished. She will only have to miss one time at the pool with cousins to never forget again.

jrc1963 posted 7/17/2013 12:28 PM


I understand where you're coming from, I do...

I could post pictures of my DS's really ugly sunburn that he got in June. His whole torso was burnt to the point of big, ugly water filled blisters over both shoulders and his back. It was so painful he couldn't even get dressed for two days because lifting his arms to put on a shirt was too much to bear.

If your DD has some slight pink under her eyes and nothing else, then I think you may be slightly, just a little bit, overreacting.

Consider getting her a cheap pair of sunglasses she can wear in the pool and outside... heck, get some for all the kids as an cool auntie gift... Then they can all be cool together!!

JanetS posted 7/17/2013 14:37 PM

Wow. Doesn't matter what your MIL and SIL believe. YOU are the parent, and you have expressed your concerns, and told them of the rules, and they don't seem to care.

Hopefully this little bit of pink won't be a problem. Probably won't. But it could, and that is the point. The solution is so simple, apply SPF regularly during the day.

Those "surfing suits" referred to above are certainly a good option (still need sunscreen on face, lower arms and legs...but those are the easier parts to reach). How about let her pick out a really pretty sunhat and see if she will wear that when she is out of the pool?

Re the hat...if she likes crafts, then she can decorate the hat with pins, pipe cleaner art, wool braids etc. It might make her happy to put it on (we did that for brownies/girl guides....girl scouts in the US).

[This message edited by JanetS at 2:37 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

Gottagetthrough posted 7/17/2013 15:37 PM

Thanks for the perspective I am still mad at the ils, but that's mostly because we have a bad relationship and ANYTHING they did would ruffle my feathers.

But truly, thank you for the comments on the burn not being bad, I was actually feeling bad that I kept letting her go to sil's... My parents both have had skin cancer, and dd is the ultimate ginger... So I am very fanatical about sun safety.

I've seen my mom's massive surgery scar, had to go thru that with her, its awful. So that's where my craziness re sun is coming from.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 3:41 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

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