Reconciling after infidelity takes a long time and it is not a straight road.
It's an emotional roller coaster.
For me-it was two steps forward and one step back.
I really didn't begin to feel 'safe' until about 4 yrs post d-day.
My FWH is a recovering alcoholic as well.
He was a functional alcoholic throughout our marriage and it caused lots of heartache.
And I was very happy when he finally got sober after d-day and embraced AA (90 meetings in 90 days etc.).
He also went to IC for 1 and 1/2 yrs (huge deal for him to do this).
So...here he was...the man I always wished for and... sometimes I was happy about it and other times I cried.
I cried for myself. That young and naive young wife and mother that devoted herself to her family only to be treated so badly for all those years.
I thought to myself....our life is so good right now...
and I would cry because I would mourn all of those years that we could have been living this life.
The 5 yr LTA was the cherry on top-it nearly broke me.
It took 4 yrs of IC and meds and support groups like SI to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So, I understand your mixed feelings right now.
I'm sure that you are still worried that his recovery could be temporary and not last.
Hopefully, with time your WH will show you through his actions that he truly is a changed man and can be trusted.