So sorry to hear your story, and hugs to you. I'm in nearly the same spot when it comes to being willing to pretend that nothing happened because the alternatives are too impossible to imagine...and I'm almost 3 weeks in.
The first week, I confronted my FWH, he admitted it, and NC started when the MOW's husband insisted on it. We had some great conversations about our relationship and the affair and I was actually feeling hopeful.
The second week we talked more, but FWH became so withdrawn and distant it was miserable. He's the one who had an affair, and it was like he couldn't stand being around me! I finally asked him to explain, and his answer was (1) he's an introvert and having constant conversation about us has drained him beyond all belief, and (2) he feels enormous pressure to make things better (although he shows zero action on that front other than maintaining NC), and (3) he is struggling with losing the MOW and going through withdrawal (my words, not his).
So at that point I started the 180 and felt immediately better...and also saw some small immediate results. He was a bit more affectionate toward me, and during the third week started making little gestures like sending me a few sweet texts during the day and trying to do things he knew would make me happy. It's not all great by any stretch, and this weekend has been kind of down again, but there are small signs of hope.
What's hard for me to accept is that even with these small signs of progress, he doesn't express remorse and is still frankly saying he doesn't know if he can get there because he's still in the fog of feeling he loved the OW. When our MC suggested he might have been in love with how he felt during the affair and not actually in love with the OW, he absolutely denied that and said it couldn't be more wrong. He has basically stated that because hs is so drained, he can't tolerate any discussion of us. And...he has never once asked how I'm feeling or shown any empathy.
So I'm sticking with the 180 but having a harder time accepting that after all the hurt he's caused, it has to be me that makes all the effort (at this point) in our relationship and my needs and pain go unnoticed. And the sad thing is that life is pretty good (other than that) - we're together, we've been out on 'dates' and had fun, we're enjoying time with our kids, he is showing some affection and love for me - so I've told myself I can tolerate this for a while to see if he can get to true remorse and R.
All of this is to say I know exactly what you're feeling - hopeful about the possibility of just moving on but feeling pathetic about the idea that we might just accept being treated like this. I keep telling myself it's still really, really early...so try not to give up home and make sure you focus on yourself instead of him. Good luck!