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Question for WS, if OK to ask?

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Ashland13 posted 7/14/2013 18:05 PM

We are in the divorce process and it is going...really rough. I didn't expect a picnic or anything, though.

The question I have is to ask why STXH/WH still continues to treat me poorly? I have the distinct impression that he does not take me seriously because of actions and ignoring things, among some other stuff.

I guess I don't understand why he won't "help" or put in effort to make things go more smoothly? It could just go by for all of us if he would. A counselor suggested the psychology words, which sometimes I get tired of, the narcissism and PA stuff coming out and now he can be whoever he wants?

I would think he would just want things to go by, too? (Sorry If I'm repeating, my head isn't clear).

The other thing I can't help but wonder is, why he avoids me-he goes to great length to avoid being in the room or making eye contact and is causing himself sometimes to actually sneak around our house in order to avoid me.

I barely say two words to him or thank him for whatever(s) he may have done. I place no pressure, I do not start conversations, nothing. I work to be stone-faced, as he always anted.

One person told me it may be guilt and he said last year, that he had trouble facing me, but what does this actually mean? Or feel like?

I guess I am asking so I can try to put it away for myself and move on. I find I cannot move away from thinking about a topic if I don't have an answer, does anyone else have this happen?

Does he feel anything at all, for all that he's done? He not only cheated, he is completely destroying and changing our lives and against our will at that.

Also, if I do have to contact him for something, re. DD or house/finances, he ignores the bulk of it and makes a small problem large.

Thank you for any insight. I would like to work on my reactions more and cannot numb myself, but I do try to wait for the emotion to subside. Any advice for that would be greatly appreciated, too.

Thank you. This could possibly be the most difficult time of my entire life. I am happy to have SI to come to for help.

jo2love posted 7/14/2013 18:16 PM

Ashland -

BS's can not start threads in the Wayward Forum. You can post your question on the thread in ICR called BS questions for WS's.

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