Hi my friends,
It has been a while since I visited this website. Life, although far from perfect, was getting more balanced. I believe in the tumultuous situation of a marriage ending and trying to begin a new life, balance is a truly positive state to be in.
Anyway, my most wonderful son finally came home from out of state college. He spent a week first with my ex, his father. When he comes home after being with his dad he is a bit...how can I say this...grumpy to me...and highly protective of his dad. This always amazes me but also really hurts my feelings as I never have said one mean word about his dad to him...nor do I even ask him anything about his dad. So it is not like he needs to hide things from me because I am not asking anyway!
So last night he went to see his friend in a near by college town.
That good old maternal gut level feeling kicked in and I really didn't want him to go. But he has just turned 21 so, in reality, although I am his mother, it is his life. He promised me he would be safe and smart. He is a straight A student and has a full academic scholarship. We have often talked about consequences of actions and life changing events.
Long story short...he went and this morning I get a call from him from jail that he was arrested last night for public intoxication.
I jump in my car....make the 90 ride to the jail and after several hours, he is released. He is crying and apologizing. I tell him I am glad he is safe and we will get through this together as we have always gotten through things. He begs me not to tell his dad. Since I have no contact with his dad anyway I agree. Then he asks me if I wanted to know why he drank so much (he really never drinks...that's the truth). He said because this Tuesday the 16th his dad is marrying a girl 26 years his junior (she is a year older than our son) and he is really devastated by this. He wasn't invited to the wedding and he figures they will be divorced in a year or two. What really scares him is his dad really doesn't care about our son anymore now that he has this new plaything and my son figures that once another child is born he (my son) will be totally forgotten. He feels he has lost his father.
So my friends here is my need to talk. Not only am I trying to soothe and comfort my one and only child as he has messed up his own life trying to drowned out his father's continuous bad choices but I am shocked to find out the one and only love of my life (No my friends I would never take my ex back ever but he still was my true love) is marrying a "child" and taking all my hard work and earnings with them.
My ex drove me to bankruptcy while he skips through life, living off of my putting him through school. He has not ever lived up to the divorce decree and I have had to drag him back to court to pay old back support payment that I know I will never receive while he plays legal games to keep me poor.
So why am I so freaked out and devastated.
I knew he'd never apologize or suddenly grow a heart and conscience...but his sweet son. I really do not know how to protect our son from his father. My son seems so desperate to getting the un-get-able...his father's love and recognition.
This will be a very long next few days, as I try to find my son a lawyer and help him get his life back. I just wish he didn't care so much about his dad...I wish I didn't as well.
Please don't judge me. Words of wisdom, would be greatly appreciated along with prayer for my son and me, please.
Thank you for listening,
Praying for Grace