That feeling when you wake up, knowing the look in your husband's eyes, and knowing you put it there.
That feeling when you ask, "Are you ok?" and he replies, "Yeah. I'm fine." and you both know he's not.
That feeling when you walk out the door and he says, "You're so beautiful." and you still see the pain in his eyes.
That feeling when he starts talking, completely unfiltered and when interrupted, he smiles and says, "No, it's ok. We'll talk later." and you know that "later" may never happen if his mood shifts.
That feeling when he reads your writings and he says, "Wow. That nailed exactly how I felt. What I just read brought it all back. You have captured it exactly."
That feeling when you are laying side by side, and he starts talking. Again. He's opening up.
That feeling of knowing how hard it is for him to expose his soul to anyone. And he chose you. Even after all this.
That feeling when he shares secrets with you, and you had no idea he still struggled as badly as he does.
That feeling when he tells you, "I cry on the way to work." You didn't know he still cries. And worse, knowing when it happens, you can't comfort him.
That feeling when he wraps his arms around you so tightly, burrows his face in your shoulder, and whispers, "Please don't ever leave me. I can't do this without you."
That feeling when he asks, "Can I hold you while I sleep?" His beard scrapes your skin, his breathing evens and deepens, his grip stays locked.
That feeling of knowing that what you have now is something special, but your soul is tortured knowing what you've gone thru to be where you are today.
That feeling - shame, love, regret, joy, fear, hope, sadness, admiration, horror, humility...
[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 9:24 AM, July 15th (Monday)]