Talk about a mood changer. WH responded, "She will not be babysitting you anymore" When DS asked why he said, "because she has a baby now of her own."
I didn't like the response. I don't want my kids liking and missing this person. I want to tell them that she turned out to not be a nice person. Is this wrong? How would you have handled this?
Quick background, this woman works with WH and they were friends for a long time before the A started. She's been to my home with her husband, we went to their wedding, I bought her a baby gift, she's babysat the kids, etc.
I don't like the answer husband gave child either, it's not true & just like we know-kids know. If stuck for an answer, he could have said, it's complicated. Let me get back to you.
Then dad finds a way to tell the truth without being
That's a big deal in my book. Am I anal?
While of course your DS is too young to hear the truth...it really bothers me that your WH answered his question with a lie.
It makes me wonder how many of your difficult questions he is answering with lies.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
I like the idea of having an age appropriate discussion about dangerous people. Need to figure out the right way to say it.
All my kiddos jumped on my bandwagon (I sure love those loyal kids!) and when other child texted mine, she told her, "we aren't friends anymore because your mom was mean to mine." Yeah, she rocks
I think, if possible and if R is in the picture, leave kids completely out of it. Older teenagers maybe something else, but certainly young children. Especially since their father was part of the crime, what does it say about them? There's just no way to just blame OW, and once you announce she suddenly turned mean, you might get some questions you're not willing to answer.
Having your kids hate/be afraid of her doesn't serve you. You and your H can hate her just fine without them.
Usually it's something like they say they want to do something nice for him (make him a drawing, a mix cd, etc.) and I'm able to just say "That's a very kind thought but we aren't going to do that." and that's OK with them. I fully expect that one day one of them is going to ask why we never see OM and his kids anymore and I'm sure as hell not going to lie about it to them. My WW hasn't been willing to put any thought into what to say other than accusing me trying to demonize her to the kids when I've run a few possible truthful but evasive answers by her. She essentially doesn't care what is said as long as she comes out looking clean.
But honestly, I can't even come up with a good lie for this. Things like "OM died in a fire." or "OM has cancer of the soul and can't leave his house." will just lead to more questions and making me a liar if we run into him around town.
"OM died in a fire." or "OM has cancer of the soul and can't leave his house."
"Cancer of the soul" Indeed. If only it was this easy...
The thought of trying to explain to our innocent babes why this toxic person was ALL over their lives and now is not allowed in their day to day...OMG!
Bless all of our SI folks that have to cope with this dynamic.
(((((OldCow18,Duffy1958,confused615, Losttransport, wtf2, ChesterChump)))))
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