My H had kids this weekend. They spent most of the time at their friends and up till late at night. My 9yr old daughter stayed at a friends house where evidentially some murderous horror shows were being watched by the Dad (one of my H's addict buddies...why do they all like creeper shows?)
Also, the reason that I text him is because she kept sleep talking telling me that she had a secret and he told her not to tell. It sounded like her older brother told her not to tell, but I was getting a little scared of what the secret was. Still don't know.
Here is our texts from last night:
Me: Taya is scared out of her mind about some shows Shawn was watching. She sleeps and wakes up scared. She hasn't let go of me since I picked her up, not to eat or even get pajamas on. She told me that she is never going back there.
H: :-( Wish I could help. I will let Shawn know. Sorry, I had no control of that. If she wants she can call me.
Me: She went back to sleep but her eyes are rapid and she keeps deep swallowing and telling me that she can't tell me???
H: Wow! I had no idea. I feel so bad for her. I barely got to talk to her. She said nothing to me.
I"ll talk to Shawn. That can't be healthy for his girls either.
Me: And she is awake again. This will be a long night.
H: Maybe I can settle her down if she calls.
Me: I asked (and I really did), she said no. This time she said ghosts were killing things and her whole body was shaking and she almost threw up. Totally traumatized. :-(
I told her to think about the new kitties.
H: Damn, he should no better than that. Bad enough for his own kids but somebody elses. c'mon, please.
Me: U watch those shows and taya got scared then too. Just sayin.
H: I suppose you got a point:-(
Did that make you feel good :-)
Me: What does that mean? I just thought u were being a bit hypocritical. I am not mad at u for Shawn's movies.
H: Was just chuckling. You kinda got me bout I used to do that.
Me: I guess I don't see the humor. Night.
H: You called me out and made a fine point that I hadn't thought about. Nothing bad. Good night.
Okay, so I don't trust my own thoughts and feelings anymore, but here is where I am at with this. Part of me was being angry that he hasn't seen his kids for almost two weeks and they spend the entire time somewhere else, angry because his friends are not people I even want my kids around not to mention spend the night with, and part of me wanted him to see why watching those shows around kids is not good (because he still does watch them). So looking at it. I probably should had said just that instead of being passive. I didn't really want to start a fight and my main goal was to try to find out what she couldn't tell me? I was fearing it was sexual or who knows. Since I can't trust him, I can't just ask directly because he would lie.
Lastly, I was thrown off a litte when he was "chuckling" because I called him out on being a hypocrite. I just find that strange and I can't even put my finger on it.
When I look at this today, I see the addict and codependent passive speak. I am frustrated with myself because I am trying to break the "old" passive me. Basically, me saying can't you see the damage that you do by exposing the kids to this and him saying let me be the hero and make her feel better, because she should think I am superdad. (which he says btw, that he is superdad and superhusband)
I also see the ? what do you call it?? When he drank he would always say, look at that worthless drunk with no job..ect. The entire time I am thinking...look at my worthless H, who is always drunk and has not job..what a hypocrite.
So, to get back to the point. Should I feel strange about him chuckling about me calling him out?