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nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 7:43 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
DD has been at the residential treatment program for 6 weeks now. She has adjusted to the location, the schedule, and the people (both staff and other clients) fairly well. That is all good.
Since she entered the program, her focus has been almost exclusively on getting back home. She has been doing really well. Very compliant, doing extra chores for bonus behavior points, etc.. All that is good, but it's been more a matter of "behaving" rather than changing behaviors due to the program, if that makes any sense. This is apparently a very common thing - a honeymoon sort of a phase - that many clients go through upon entry to the program.
Over the past week or so, cracks have started to show in the surface, and DD's anxiety is bubbling to the top. She has had some arguments with peers, and during her last overnight pass this past weekend, she had a major blow up. DS was at home and able to help defuse the situation to the point where we could safely transport her back to the residential facility.
The therapists have suggested that we put a hold on future overnight passes, and stick to day passes until she is further along in her treatment. I have not yet talked to DD about it, but I know she will be heartbroken.
This setback was not only understandable, but honestly, somewhat expected. Doesn't make it any easier to go through, however, for either DD or the rest of us.
I wanted to thank everyone for the support and positive energy you've been sending our way. It is such a comfort. 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 8:22 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
Thanks for the update. My thoughts and hopes and best wishes are with you, your DS, and your DD. I hope this becomes easy for all of you, even though it is supremely difficult now.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 8:37 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
I've seen the "honeymoon" period in my students... It lasts until the client/student realizes that unless they do the hard work of the program they're not going home.
Then their real issues/behaviors come out and the hard work/real work begins.
Hopefully she'll get down to the hard work of her treatment program and things will move along and she can come home for good.
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 8:53 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
Thanks for the update. Continuing to think of you and yours. 
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 8:59 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
Thanks for the update.
It sounds like she is in the perfect place and that they see the cycle in this type of healing.
Continued prayers.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 9:20 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
I can't imagine how hard this is for any of you. I give you props, mom. You have her best interests at heart.
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 9:41 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
You're doing an amazing job, NIK. I'm proud of all of you.
I'm just so thankful that she's in a program where she can be safe and they can make adjustments as needed to help her in her current state.
(((NiK, DD, DS)))
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 9:44 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
(((Nik & DD)))
Thank you for the update. Sounds like she has a great team of therapists (and of course an amazing mom) to help her and give her the tools she needs. Sending both of you mojo, strength, support, and love.
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:46 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
((((nik & DD))))
Thank you for posting this update, I have been wondering how it's going for your DD.
You are doing a great job as a mum, and I know you will keep supporting her working her way through this program.
Just wish that doing what you - as a parent - need to do weren't so hard. 
Sending more strength and positive thoughts (and mojo!) to you and your family.
((((nik & DD))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 10:01 PM on Monday, July 15th, 2013
(((((NIK & DD))))) Continued healing and loving thoughts to you both
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
click4it ( member #209) posted at 5:16 AM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
((((((((((nowiknow))))))))))
Me: 45
Two boys: 20 and 17
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:03 AM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 2:37 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
You guys are the best.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 10:41 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
Thanks for the update, I've been thinking about your DD.
((((nik and dd)))
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
rainagain ( member #14917) posted at 2:56 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013
Try to think of it not as a setback but a step forward in the healing?
(((NIK and DD)))
Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:11 done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love- Marino Me: Divorced
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 11:51 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 12:23 AM on Thursday, July 18th, 2013
(((nik)))
nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 2:13 AM on Thursday, July 18th, 2013
Thanks, guys.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
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