Speaking from someone who also entered MC immediately following my discovery of the affair...that was a waste of 2-3 months of energy and money. My wifes A went from EA to PA during this time...while we were in counseling.
Hindsight...we should have both entered IC.
My wife was still connected to her AP. Then the fog entered and she went through withdrawals. While these things were happening we were definitely NOT in R. I was ignorant then...I thought the fact that we were not divorcing meant we were R.
Sisson...one of my favorite members on this site...speaks of a time between DD and before R...kind of a leveling off of the work site before the foundation that sustains R can be laid.
We did this without knowing it.
I was surprised to hear you have been released from MC. We are still meeting weekly...my triggers are less...but still very much there. I have learned how to see them coming better....and can handle them better...but they are still there.
I still snoop....though don't think that is the right word for it. My wife knows I have access to her accounts.
But, truthfully, anyone can set up a yahoo email account within minutes and easily conceal another affair. So what does the checking up really do?
We are on the verge of really moving on the R path...but it has been a long road getting here.
If I read your post correctly, your husbands actions on the driveway are similar to that which he was doing during the affair. That is just not right or should be accepted. WS role is to change that which is broken so as not to repeat history or add insult to injury to the BS.
If he has to talk on the phone after you go to bed (which is what I think he is doing) why cant he go to the back yard rather then the driveway where he fed his desire to cheat? Better yet, why doesn't he just give that up all together. If it is work related or unavoidable...how about he wake you up and you can sit and listen to him work?
Lots of opportunities for WS to use actions to display they are ready and willing to do what it takes to fix themselves for both their sake and the sake of you and your marriage.
God be with us all.