I know I have a long story, but it would help if you read it before you reply. I think that's how that works.
Basically, after about a year of him not trying to be supportive or there for me emotionally or physically, (even while I was pregnant with his child) my boyfriend has finally come around and is starting to act like Super Boyfriend. He's been putting himself out there quite admirably.
My problem is that I feel like it took way too long for him to come around and part of me thinks that he's only holding onto me now because he fell in love with our son and doesn't want to lose him.
I also just feel very bitter. Sometimes, it's easy to forgive him, and yet other times I hate his guts. I'm not quite sure what to do.
I'm convinced he is my soul mate, and I still feel heart-broken when I consider leaving him. I'm also worried about how it might effect our son.
Yet, we sleep on the bed he cheated on me on. He uses the laptop he used to cheat on me with. We drive around in the car he had sex with his ex in. We live in the town where his ex lives.
There are so many things that remind me of what he's done to us and I find myself randomly reminding him of what he did, as though some part of me wants to make sure he doesn't forget.
How have you all learned to stop being bitter? Or is it even possible?
By the way, he was my first love. I didn't bother dating in high school because I've never before felt a connection. I was 20 when I met him, 23 when we started dating, and I'm 24 now. He's three days older than me and has had quite a few "loves".