I agree with tushnurse!
I'm not successfully R'd but we are in R and due to hormonal conditions that he doesn't want to address, my WH has absolutely no sex drive. It's been a year since he's initiated sex or done anything for me if ya know what I mean
It was hard immediately after disclosure, to know that other people got what I've been dying for... I had a dream that I was in the desert dying of thirst and was crawling along and saw my WH give a flask of water to another woman. I've since realized that's what I had to come to grips with -- metaphorically, he did give a flask of water to another woman when I was right there, dying of thirst.
Unfortunately I never addressed our dying sex life as it slowly faded away during that time period (summer 2012) and now here I am. Sexless. Hopefully not forever.
He does enjoy, um, things that are not exactly sexual intercourse and I've asked him to reduce my sense of rejection by initiating those kinds of things with me. That has lessened the blow. That, and the realization that this is hormonal and it's not a reflection of me.
I know it's not easy. :(
Talk to him. Find out what the root of the problem is. Low T? Low estrogen? (Rarely tested for, but can crush a man's sex drive.) Is he feeling guilty and can't bear to think of the fact that he used sex to hurt you? Is he feeling ashamed? There are nearly infinite possible causes.