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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Exclusive...now what??
lostmommy
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My man ("SO"?) and I have had the exclusive talk after one month of dating again (last time we were dating from October-January but I wasn't ready for him yet). My best friend tells me that this doesn't mean we're boyfriend/girlfriend as that is another "level".

If that's true, at what point do we "elevate" to the boyfriend/girlfriend/SO level, whatever the case may be?

Can someone please explain this to me? Talk to me like I'm five!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
chikastuff
♀ 35288
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me exclusive means bf/gf level commitment.


Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's semantics. If you two are on the same page about boundaries, expectations, and communication, then the labels don't really matter.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
forced2moveon
♀ 12014
Member # 12014
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If both of you have had the "exclusive" talk together, your relationship is exclusive. I've never heard of this "different" stage because you've only been back together a month? My SO and I have been together over 9 years and we had the exclusive talk just one month into out dating and we have both been exclusive since.

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Southern California
lostmommy
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what I thought! I was beginning to think I was crazy for thinking that way and making assumptions though. I'm glad that I'm not!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another thing that doesn't matter: Your friend's opinion or perception of your relationship. As long as you and he are on the same page, you're good to go.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
lostmommy
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're right, Ama!


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
hurtinky
♀ 26152
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask him if you are his girlfriend! My guess is that you are!


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
million pieces
♀ 27539
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually I get the difference. I've had several discussion w single friends who may be dating someone, don't see others but would not think of their partner as GF/BF.


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1281 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
lostmommy
♀ 33440
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've had several discussion w single friends who may be dating someone, don't see others but would not think of their partner as GF/BF.

Why? What's the thought process behind that?


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why? What's the thought process behind that?

For many, it's about allowing time to get to know the other person and see if a true relationship develops without any interruptions from others.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13880 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
soulsearcher4
♂ 29540
Member # 29540
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, July 17th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why? What's the thought process behind that?

Exclusive = Not seeing anyone else, only this person.

BF/GF = Mixing/meeting friends/family.

At least, that's my just made up right now of the difference between the two. I can see how someone could see a difference between the two. However, me personally if I were exclusive I would be BF/GF, too.


Me: BS
Her: WS

Divorced.

Remarried to a supremely wonderful person!


Posts: 178 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: So.Cal.
Topic Posts: 12

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