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ArableSands (original poster member #39830) posted at 7:56 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
It was naive at best of me to hope that other forums on the 'Net would understand infidelity. I related my story of being betrayed, and the first response was from a woman who said, "What did you do to drive her to cheat on you?"
I swear to god, if anyone victim-blames in front of me ever again, they're going to end up needing dental surgery. What a heinous, disgusting pattern of behaviour to shift the blame to those who have been victimized.
Schilling ( member #39774) posted at 8:03 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
I am sorry you had to go through that. It is not fair.
I am 26(Bgf). He is 36 (Wbf).
On Again, Off Again - 10 years.
Not Married. No Kids.
D-Day: Too many to list/ remember.
Trying to Reconcile.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:04 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
Yep. Infuriating. 
Bikingguy ( member #38103) posted at 8:06 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
On D day I quickly realized I did not have a support system in place. I turned to a bike forum and basically laid it all out there. I would say about 1/2 were were some of those idiotic responses. HOWEVER the other 1/2 were incredibly helpfull and one in particular PMed me and pointed me here. He also recommended the book "not just friends"
I would say my take on this topic has really changed since being a part of it, and I try to ignore those people that just don't get it. But I get you, sometimes ignorant is so obvious it's hard to ignore.
This is one reason I have not told anyone,I sort of expect the "well you were a crappy husband" response.
I used to have this arrogant saying that once I accepted that most people were ignorant, I could live a happy life! 
Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 8:31 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
I got that question from my own mother.
Idiots abound. Surround yourself with those who are supportive, uplifting, and positive. And strive to be that way for others! 
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
TrulySad ( member #39652) posted at 8:54 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2013
This is the one site I've found where the BS is truly understood. I am so thankful for the advice and support.
It's also the only site I know of for the WS. My WBF and I were talking the other day about a subject he posted here, in the wayward forum. He was frustrated, feeling like the ones who answered, didn't get how wrong certain actions are. I suggested he respond with how he felt. When he did, again WSs responded with lame excuses. How sad!
I've found most people don't want to face the truth. It doesn't fit into their agenda.....UNTIL they are the victim.
Next time you hear an idiotic comment, I'd recommend calling them out on it. How else are things ever going to change?
Me : no longer a BW or BGF. Starting over!
Them : in the past, where they can stay.
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