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Newest Member: FrustratedJoker (61483)

User Topic: Updating/revising custody agreement
♀ 35288
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Based on the recent issues I'm having with my ex around contact information for his live in SO (who cares for our child), I've been told a revision to our custody agreement may be in order. How do I go about doing this without opening myself up to a custody battle? Ex has already suggested/threatened to go to court to change jurisdictions and I have a really strong feeling that he's going to fight me for 50/50 or even full if I try to have the agreement amended to cover exchanging information on "roomates and caregivers". I would also love to include a statement about gun ownership/storage/safe handling, etc.

Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then don't file for a revision; sounds like he may one day soon, and you can just add it then if he fights you for more custody.

Really though? Does it NEED to be in the papers? I realize most people have it in their papers, but honestly, if you refuse to let your kids go because he won't give you the address/last name whatever of this person, what's he going to do? If he calls the cops, and they come to you, you say I'd be happy to let them go, but he's leaving them with a babysitter whom he won't provide their name, and he won't give me his address, so therefore they can go as soon as I get that info. The cops are going to turn to him and say give it to her. He's going to say no. The cops are going to say well, take it to court, and walk away.

Might you get smacked in court for not letting them go? Maybe. If he takes you. But you know what? It's going to be a verbal smack, and then they are going to tell him to stop being an ass and give you the info. I say just refuse, and see where it goes. Make sure you have it in writing that you have asked him, politely, for the info.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5919 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
♀ 35288
Member # 35288
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, July 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, that's great info and an angle I hadn't considered.

I spoke with my attorney this afternoon. She said it's absolutely within my rights to request and receive this information. We are going to write a letter demanding it and if we get no response were going to take him to court for it. If he continues to be a jerk about it we will petition the court have visitation removed.

Me- 32
Happily engaged and moving on

Posts: 382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 3

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