i believe this....so true in my case. i used to think that i could get through all of this if the cheating was a ONS...or a brief affair that only happend once...and "he didnt love her." i am even envious of some SI posters who look for support after learning their spouse cheated one time...or "it was just a kiss." but me? no way....he did it all. and when he minimized his cheating with the whore at the gym....i fell for it at first...thinking that was it. i have learned that infedelity is rotten...and full of lies...and that it is almost never that cut and dry...there is always more. if not with that one ap...with others. i just didnt want to see that in my case.
in my journey on the infedelity rollercoaster....what i have learned is that where you find one rat or roach...there is usually a bunch more where they came from. and you know what? it is true.
after learning about the girl at the gym....9 months later i learned i was in false r...with another woman (15 years older)....and then when i scoured the phone records and found secret email accounts....i hit the motherload....on-line dating, other women, dirty pictures, and emails that reveal the depth of the affairs.
no way to minimize any of it.
it is what it is.
i will no longer be a fool again...i feel like i have btdt, you know?
i know from my experience now..and wont ever forget...that if i find a roach, i can count on the fact that there are a thousand more where that came from.
[This message edited by sri624 at 4:32 PM, July 16th (Tuesday)]