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and the lies continue! OW has been trying to make contact with WH. She first made contact back around December using a FB account belonging to a friend of hers. The message read something along the lines of I hope you are happy with the choice you made. Of course WH never thought it was her and just responded with "What" since he didn't know who this person was whose FB it was coming from. Nothing was sent again until last week. He received a message again from her friend's account reaching out to him and then a message from the guy's whose FB account it was saying he isn't psycho and that she was the one using his account. There were a few messages going back and forth between WH and the friend and WH said he didn't want contact with her, etc. All that sounds okay but I only know of the most recent contact because I happened to check WH's FB page without his knowledge.

Around the time the message from OW was sent, we were going into Walmart and happened to have parked near her car. I didn't look for her in the store but she could have seen us and she certainly could have seen WH's truck in the parking lot. It makes me wonder if this is what initiated her reaching out to him. I brought this up with WH and asked if she had tried to contact him. He never said no but avoided answering the question trying to turn it around on me. Why didn't I say anything that night about being parked near her car. Accused me of making it up!! My response was that he always gets mad when I try to talk about his A and I actually didn't know for sure that it was her car until we had walked past it. Also, he kept saying thinks like how do I know what she drives for a car and am I stocking her. He kept throwing questions at me in an accusatory manner.

I can't win. All his wrongs get turned around on me so why bother bringing them up. I'm so frustrated and angry at him but more at myself. I really wish I had gone through with a divorce 3 years ago. I wouldn't be stuck in this hell!

Hello Reagan

I understand and hear what your saying. I'm in the exact same boat myself. I'm also three years out and as late as last night, got yet another lie. So tired of trying to express my needs and it goes unheard.

I also still regularly get blame shifting from him too. Got that last night too. He liked to not come home at night, so its my fault he had affairs cause i never asked him where he was. Well, i did ask, but he apparently forgot that too.

I too am angry at myself now as i have allowed this for far too long and compromised far too much.

i dont know where to go from here. i dont want this grief anymore.

Good luck to you

Well scoot on over ladies and let me sit with you.

3 years out...still the lies continue.

I've stopped asking questions..Im detaching...and forming my exit plan.

It's a shame. He could have had exactly what he says he wants..me..his family....and I do believe he wants it. But not enough to tell me everything...not enough to be open with me. Because he can't be honest with me,I can't stay with him. I would have stood by him through anything...except being lied to. Can't do that.

Reagan...his behavior is beyond suspicious. Im sorry.

[This message edited by confused615 at 1:23 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

ReaganT, you need some snappy answers to his assholy questions.

"why didn't you say anything the night we parked next to her car?"
ANSWER: "WH, you haven't answered my question! Please tell me IF the ow has tried to contact you."

"How do you know what car she drives?"
ANSWER: "I know a lot more than you could ever imagine. Now answer my question before I blow a fuse."

"Are you stalking the OW?"
ANSWER: "What I do to protect myself is not your business. YOU brought the whore into our marriage. You brought this on, I am taking the steps I feel necessary to protect myself and my marriage. Now, has that fugly whore tried to contact you recently?"

Sometimes we get so flustered it is hard to get to the bottom of an issue. You know she tried to contact him. You know he didn't tell you. See? You know more than he could ever imagine. You are driving this train, Reagan. He needs to step it up.

Hugs.

Thanks for your responses. I haven't been on for a bit and just now saw them. :-)

I need to make some tough decisions. Hopefully, I will be able to figure that out soon

I'm three years out and still having the same issues. Lies, of omission primarily but sometimes outright lies. No cheating necessarily but he never did the work to earn my trust and now everything gets turned back around on me.

It's hard when you have kids though. I have a longer term exit plan...