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UndecidedinMA posted 7/17/2013 11:46 AM

I am floored!!! This is kinda hard to grasp for me or put into words but....

I was out with FWSO at a weekend bbq & ran into a woman I knew 30 or so years ago. We got to talking, you know the reminiscing thing. I knew my son's father( marriage was annulled so I will never refer to him as X anything) had dated her before me. Got it?

What I didn't know was they were engaged when I met him. She was actually planning their wedding Now I had no idea!! I was 19, he was 32. She knew nothing of me - he was that good. I had no idea. I then learned we actually married on the day that was supposed to be their date

She was not mad, she actually thanked me & said she felt bad for me being stuck with him. Well it was only 96 days til I pulled my very young stupid head out of my ass & saw the light. I did get my wonderful DS from the deal & now a great DGD.

So I was the other woman I feel sick, truly sick. I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing.

Oh she has been happily married for 27 years.

wanttogoforward posted 7/17/2013 12:20 PM

You cannot feel guilty about something that you had no knowledge of... this is your FWSO's issues - NOT yours.... let go of the guilt associates with him.... it's not your cross to bear...

UndecidedinMA posted 7/17/2013 12:23 PM

No not my FWSO

This is my DS's father from 30 years ago.

Ostrich80 posted 7/18/2013 03:19 AM

I actually feel for the ow that don't know they are one. They are being deceived and lied to just like the be or
s.o.

sunshine226 posted 7/18/2013 06:31 AM

at first I felt bad for OW because she didnt know she was one, but I brought it to light and she is still the OW, dont have any sympathy or compassion for her anymore

She was even called a whore and a homewrecker by my daughter last November, and it was January when I spilled the beans and told her everything

But WH lied some more and they are still together

realitybites posted 7/18/2013 06:32 AM

That is just so weird huh?! Its got to be a strange feeling although from your description of your X it probably in hindsight does not surprise you. But to find out that he was engaged and hid it from you? And you ended up getting married on the same day that he was supposed to get married to the ex fiance?

That takes some cold compartmentalization on his part. yuck.

tushnurse posted 7/18/2013 08:50 AM

Wow what a great guy....
So this is one of those times you can take a deep breath and know that everything happens for a reason. You saved her from ending up in a relationship that was destined to fail, and you were able to have your son.
Try not to feel bad, she made it clear that she doesn't.

UndecidedinMA posted 7/18/2013 12:34 PM

Oh he was a complete POS hence the fast exit & annulment

I also found out he has now been married 4 more times, all of them early 20's even though he is now about 65