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hexed posted 7/17/2013 12:26 PM

Today is my last official anniversary with X. We agreed to a long separation so I could maintain excellent health insurance as part of our settlement.

I have to sign and file the final paperwork which I did on Monday. X and I were texting about things on Monday night. He was actually being kind and making sure I was actually set up with new health insurance. All in all it was relatively pleasant exchange.

Today I sent him a text "Happy Anniversary LOL." I had totally forgotten the last 2 and he had sent texts. It seemed funny at the time in light of our recent conversation.

That got me to feeling a little weird. Just recognizing the finality of it. No big thing...just a bit funky.

X and other woman broke up last night. He wasn't happy about my text. Apparently she felt our text exchange on Mon night was too familiar/comfortable. He was too concerned about me. She had snuck his phone to read it. I don't think it was anything inappropriate. TG could read it and I wouldn't be worried. Weird after 5+ years they broke up. I never thought they would. Again just weird timing.

None of it is really any big thing. Just weird timing. It just sort of all has me feeling 'MEH'

No really question. Just getting it out of my head.

burnt_toast posted 7/17/2013 12:45 PM

Well, yeah, bad timing. Remember you don't know everything about their couple...

hexed posted 7/17/2013 12:58 PM

b_t -- I don't even care about their 'couple' stuff. I quit caring about it a long time. I used to take some satisfaction when he would bitch about her. Or when she'd bust him cheating on her and then go back to him. A couple years ago, I just quit caring about their dysfunction. I just didn't think it would ever end. The details of it quit being important.

Just a lot to take in. I can't help but feel like
1) I still hope she gets hit by a bus...just a little
2) The break up is sort of pathetic in a way. At least if he was going to destroy our M, it could've been for some 'true lurv' that lasted forever.
3)Weird that its ending on my last anniversary. Symbolic? I don't know but a lot to process.

Amazonia posted 7/17/2013 13:23 PM

Wonder if their breakup is at all related to the fact that now that your divorce will be final soon ... things could potentially move forward between the two of them?

burnt_toast posted 7/17/2013 14:21 PM

At least if he was going to destroy our M, it could've been for some 'true lurv' that lasted forever.

Yep. I think exactly the same about XWH and OW (well - now girlfriend, it's been years).

[This message edited by burnt_toast at 2:22 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

cayc posted 7/17/2013 14:33 PM

She had snuck his phone to read it.

Hah. There's your karma there. She doesn't trust him!

Sorry to t/j, but that made me giggle!

cissi posted 7/17/2013 14:44 PM

I agree with Amazonia! Now she is going to expect a wedding ring, he knows she expects it, and somehow a fight ensued so someone could get the hell out of the relationship - and I don't think it was her!

caregiver9000 posted 7/17/2013 14:45 PM


I understand the W.. W.. W.. mix of feelings. It is a lot and significant in its own way and not significant all at the same time.

I agree with Ama that the "availability" of your ex now that the divorce is imminent, may play a part in the pressure from the OW.

cass posted 7/17/2013 14:58 PM

Made me giggle too, all that sneaking around, suspicion, lack of trust.............oh heck sounds familiar but not our problem anymore. Karma indeed!

As for ending on your anniversary. Same thing happened to me. After the cheating, break-up, false R etc, our last day together was 12 years exactly to the day we met. None of it matters anymore but good my OMW she turned out to be a psycho-nut-job. True luurrrve my arse!!

[This message edited by cass at 3:33 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

hexed posted 7/17/2013 17:13 PM

yeah- for some reason she has trust issues with him go figure. She caught him in with his form bff's g/f one time. Can't imagine why she doesn't trust him

I guess part of it is how absolutely ordinary this all is. Lots of people cheat and M's end. It wasn't some truly great meant to be romance that ended my M. Just unhappy people dealing with problems in an unhealthy way. OW is annoying but not a bunny boiler. Just a sad woman with little self esteem who thought she found her dream guy but found out his just human like the rest of us. He's an alcoholic with unhealthy coping mechanisms but there are many many of those. I just a run of the mill co-dependent. Not particularly bad just bad enough to make bad relationship choices. It's all so ordinary.

Its over, not dramatic ending. No epic closing chapter. A lot of pain for everyone involved and the whole thing is over. Its as if their break up completes the circle. There is absolutely nothing left of my M. Not even their relationship. Its just weird.

Its not that I mind that its over. I haven't even for a moment considered an alternative. At one point when my X and I could finally be friendly, I wondered a little and then I realized if nothing else I could never be physically intimate with him so we could only exist at best as friendly aquaintances.

I do have to laugh at her distrust. She always seemed amazed that she couldn't trust him. I don't think he ever indicated that he wanted to marry again. She apparently led him to believe she didn't want to get M but apparently my existence still bothers her. Oh well. She can suck it.

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