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I have lost my fave band - triggering hard

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UndecidedinMA posted 7/17/2013 12:33 PM

My FWSO wants to go to see the band Journey. It was always "our" favorite band, so I was excited.

Then I started to say, I had so much seeing them with a GF 2 years ago. UH OH, it just clicked. I dug out the tickets, yes I save those stubs. You bet that was the night of his ONS with xDBC.

He has no idea I have put the dates together. I cannot go, I just can't. I would spend the whole night a mess.

So I have lost my fave band, even though R is going good the fallout keeps sneaking up.

I am dreading this convo but I have to tell FWSO the deal.

karmahappens posted 7/17/2013 12:43 PM

Hey...gimme a minute.

I am pulling off my bitch boots, it appears you need to borrow them, for yourself

Seriously. Can you reconsider? Can you just take this back ?

Maybe remove the thought from your head that you will be a mess.

Give yourself the ok to go and not be a mess, but to be may just find you have a great time.

The A and it's aftermath take so much from us, please don't let it take anymore.

Don't give it, them, him or her that much power.

(((hugs))) and strength

[This message edited by karmahappens at 12:44 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

Garnet posted 7/17/2013 13:01 PM

You go see journey for you!! Don't let the affair ruin a great time to make new memories for you and your husband!! Take charge and have fun for you!! Love journey and girls from MA!!! Haha

Skan posted 7/17/2013 14:12 PM

Go. Please go. Get yourself all dressed up, have a great dinner, and then go rock out. Journey is YOUR band you go take them back and put them back on your play list.

ladies_first posted 7/17/2013 16:48 PM

Don't stop believin'
]Hold on to the feelin'

Wow! You just gave away your FAVORITE band to a ONS? Who's in charge here?

Music can be magical and, IMHO, has healing properties.

Make FWSO pay for the Journey tickets. GO! See what happens...

Bet you get swept away by the positive energy!!

]Hold on to the feelin'

FeelsSoRight posted 7/17/2013 17:26 PM

When my H & I were S'd, he saw a woman who was also a Sammy Hagar fanatic like me. He actually tried to sneak some of my stuff out when he was getting "his stuff". So I politely took all my Sammy stuff to my parents' house. LOL

But I have to say - and I'm a true "Redhead" (Sammy superfan) - I even have a tattoo...but for quite awhile after we R'd, I still had a really hard time with anything Sammy for awhile. But I have overcome it now - just takes time - and we are going to see him Aug.31st here and I can't wait!

Don't let them take Journey away from you...just don't.

ladies_first posted 7/17/2013 20:01 PM

By my count:

Journey: 5
affair: 0

Unscientifically, that's Journey 100%

HurtButHopeful? posted 7/17/2013 20:13 PM


With as loud and crazy as it will be at the concert, you won't have time to think about the A.

Go! Go!! Go!!!

UndecidedinMA posted 7/17/2013 20:44 PM

thank you guys so much!!

HE knew something was up when he got home. It all came spilling out. He was horrified that I could put the date that specific, DUH not stupid.

Well turns out he had weekend planned. They are couple hours north of us. He booked weekend away, made plans for sky dive(we always wanted to do that together).

So I am gonna try to take them back. I know & now he knows we may have moments but we shall see.

I know actual PA was a ONS but the EA went on for a few months.

karmahappens posted 7/17/2013 20:50 PM

Good for you! Have a blast !

sodamnlost posted 7/17/2013 21:09 PM

Good for you!!! I had the biggest crush on Steve Perry in middle school - I'm jealous!

shatteredheart7 posted 7/17/2013 21:23 PM

Good for you!

I have found the best way to deal with my triggers is HEAD ON COLLISION! I refuse to let his A take anything else away from me! But I am known by many as the most stubborn person they know so...

cissi posted 7/17/2013 22:37 PM

Good for you!!! I had the biggest crush on Steve Perry in middle school - I'm jealous!

Too bad he isn't with the group anymore. Love, love his voice.

Or, is he back with them?? When they play at the casino here, it's not with him.

UndecidedinMA posted 7/18/2013 09:24 AM

No he has major health issues so unfortunately Steve Perry is retired.

Their new lead singer was actually found in the Phillipines at either some talent thing or Youtube - can't remember. He sounds just like him.

karmahappens posted 7/20/2013 05:39 AM

When is your weekend away Undecided?

I hope you update us on what a great time you had. I really think you are going to surprise yourself.


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