Welcome, sorry you're here, but since you're dealing with infidelity, it's great you found us.
Have you checked out the Healing Library? Start with the FAQs - http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq.asp. (Copy the URL and paste it into a browser window.) There's a lot of guidance there.
Also, read the R forum for ideas.
We all have to find our own way through this, but as you read, you'll see some stuff that make sense to you and some stuff that doesn't - just ignore the stuff that doesn't.