I am passionate and caring...but am also selfish and dense at times. Sometimes I state the obvious as if it is some golden nugget of previously unspoken wisdom.
This may very well be one if those moments....so bear with me.
A tough MC session today. C feels strongly that IC is not where our time and money is best spent. She really wants to stay on this intense weekly MC track we started 3 weeks ago....no IC sessions mixed in.
I have been agreeable but resistant to this as IC is much easier and productive for me...at least that's what I thought.
Today my wife and I left agitated and frustrated...no lunch together afterwards.
I am at one of my small town diners...the heart of my comfort zone!
I ponder what I am to take away from these MC sessions, what I am missing, what I am failing to see and change.
I now believe part of this is the choice of "thought". My wife and I have the choice to be "thoughtful" or "thoughtless" towards each other.
My part of this...due to the pain I am feeling from my wife's decision to have an affair I sometimes choose to be thoughtless towards her. I see that now in the light it really should be in. Are the reasons behind my thoughtless actions any more valid, any more noble then my wife's thoughtless actions with regards to the affair? Do they not both hurt out combined, agreed to goals of unity, intimacy, and caring for each other? Am I not dishonoring those same vows which I have been upset with my wife for dishonoring?
I am at a threshold of something here...any insight that would help me cross this threshold and move forward? Doesn't feel like rug sweeping....
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 1:46 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]