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General :
How do I stop the obsession?

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 stillcrying4ever (original poster member #38310) posted at 8:42 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

I look at her facebook. I can't see that much because I'm not friends with her. I use a different name also. She still has his picture with her up. She has changed the title from "You are hot" to "Past loves". It makes me sad so why do I obsess?

He never loved her. She was just a bar fly. They got drunk together. He had been sober for 23 years. She works at a drug and alcohol rehab as a charge nurse now. She did work at the hospital until I sent them a letter. She is always at a bar. I don't get it.

[This message edited by stillcrying4ever at 7:43 AM, July 22nd (Monday)]

D Day May 27, 2012
Married 39 years
2 kids, 3 grand kids and 1 on the way

posts: 190   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6411168
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 9:56 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

Easy. Just knock it off. It's completely in your control. Block her.

When you are tempted to unblock, or to use another profile to look, STOP. If you have to, wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it HARD. Aversion therapy.

If that doesn't work, get off Facebook altogether. It's not required for a happy and healthy life.

It won't take long for you to realize that you feel MUCH better when you don't pick the scabs.

[This message edited by solus sto at 3:56 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6411253
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1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 10:27 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2013

Are you checking because you feel like there is a chance they will reconnect? Are you just trying to verify its over?

I understand the obsession as I did the same but in the end she is not worth my time or effort. She is a liar and cheat and is morally bankrupt.

Try and put your energy to something productive, positive. She is neither.

You are stronger than you think. You can let her go bc she simply doesn't matter. She never gave you this much energy. Don't let her take yours.

Good luck

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

posts: 4131   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2013
id 6411310
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