I've also started to instigate affection more. I still sometimes flinch when he touches me, but I am touching him more.
I started antidepressants yesterday. Difficult times but there we go. They're for the massive panic attacks I keep having, which he's been understanding about.
But things are getting better. I am triggering less and feel better about things, but with our 1st anniversary next month, remains to be seen!
I hope you continue to do better every day!
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I kept ranting on the way home which led to an argument. I told him to go home and I stayed out for a while. When we got home I posted some very unkind shit about the OW, naming her, on Facebook. It was very immature but I felt completely enraged, how is she living her life oblivious and I'm in so much pain? I hoped it would get back to her since I can't contact her anymore. I deleted it quite quickly. It was very childish but I felt impotent with rage.
I had a long talk with my WH. He cried a lot. I feel better today but still. I do have so much anger at myself. And anger at them both for betraying me when I trusted them. That I'm on antidepressants now. That I feel so scattered.
Anyway. Not a straight line, is it.