[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 8:18 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]
I've had to do this to toxic relations. It sucks the really large Richard, but it was well worth it mentally.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Didn't tell my MIL b/c I knew she would sympathise with WH and somehow find a way to blame me. Saved myself more victimization by not telling her...she was OW too. She D WH's dad to M H #3, WH's stepdad, who actually ended up being a decent guy (except for the fact that he was the OM until the D)
[This message edited by HurtButHopeful? at 8:44 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]
shes back to treating me like shit.
Her being an OW and you a BW, then, doesn't have all that much to do with it if she's been treating you like shit for years.
I agree - divorce her. You don't have to divorce FIL if you don't want to, although he may side with his W. If WH makes a stink about it and you're in the mood to compromise - then he can see her/have a relationship with her. But not you and the kids. If she's treating the kids like shit then - her ass goes to the proverbial curb like yesterday.
I tried cutting her out of my life about 2 years ago but my H and father-in-law gave me a bunch of bull shit about respect.
Then draw an iron clad boundary that you don't listen to their two cents on the matter. If YOU want to discuss it with them, then cool. They try to talk to you about cutting her out? Walk away. Don't even entertain it because it sounds like they are successful at guilt tripping you.
[This message edited by RockyMtn at 9:08 PM, July 17th (Wednesday)]
Respect. Why? Why does she deserve your respect? Becaues she she older? Give me a break. And treating the kids badly? That just seals the deal for you and makes it easier to walk away now doesn't it?
H can see his mom. You don't want, need or have too.
I think its because of her compacity to be the OW is why she doesn't have any compassion for me in my time of need.
The woman doesn't sound like she has much compassion at all if she treats children like crap. I guess what I was saying is...even if this woman was not an OW - did you expect here to be compassionate and sympathetic? It just doesn't sound like her character at all.
You said your WH is tired of her shit too..so I would discuss with him the need to cut her out of your lives...completely. She adds nothing positive to your family,and is making your healing harder.
And,most importantly,she ignores one of your DS's and treats the other one "like shit." You have a responsibility to your kids,to protect them,and it sounds as if she is abusive emotionally and mentally towards them.
Cut her out.
And if your FIL comes to you barking about respect..simply tell him you agree...and because his wife has no respect for you,your kids,and your family,she can have no part in your lives.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Hugs sweetie -
Edited for forgot I was in R forum
[This message edited by Lalagirl at 11:15 AM, July 18th (Thursday)]
Does she live close?
Expect some tears, etc when you tell her you don't want anymore contact, but stay strong, you don't need anyone tearing down your kids. Just think of them.
[This message edited by DoneWithLove at 11:18 PM, July 19th (Friday)]