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savvy posted 7/17/2013 20:44 PM

My H is moving back home soon. We want to start trying to R. I know it's too soon by I'm worried about sex already. We tried a while back while still separated but it didn't go well. Well I think it was because of his guilt that he was still in contact with ow
Well now that's done and we aren't rushing into sex but I'm scared that when it comes time I won't be able to satisfy him. The ow was 20 years younger. And of course I'm sure it was exciting as anything new is.
He isn't worried about it but I am is this a normal worry and we aren't even close to ready for that yet
I know R is work and hard. Why am I worried about this already. We have been together 30 years it can't be as exciting as that brand new sex, I think that's why I'm worried

shatteredheart7 posted 7/17/2013 21:12 PM

Actually, our sex lives have improved so much since R! At first I was afraid it was just HB, but 15 months and we still can't get enough of each other. I half joke with him that I know he isn't cheating because he wouldn't have the strength.

So don't worry about it so much. There is hope! But to much worry will make it very difficult. I honestly think a lot of it is mind over matter.

hurtingarmywife posted 7/17/2013 21:25 PM

I understand exactly how you feel. The OW in my WH A was 20 years younger also. We have been married 30 years. At first I was very insecure about having sex and thought he would be making comparisons between the two of us.
I have pictured them together in my mind and the enjoyment she brought to him. He assured me it wasn't that way and he was so happy when I discovered the A. He also said at first the sex was exciting but then he was repulsed by it because of his guilt.
I still struggle thinking about her 34 year old body compared to mine. But my WH assures me she has nothing on me. He can't stand the thought of his past actions.
Good luck and I hope this all works out for you. Just make sure the two of you communicate and talk about your feelings.
Me-52
WH-54
Married 30 years
DDay-Jan.31,2013