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Coraline posted 7/17/2013 22:24 PM

Long story, but I just found out today that he went a couple weeks ago and filled out a move out form for our military housing - the house I have sole use of in our temp agreement - without notifying me. Today was the first I heard of it, when I found out they're expecting me to move out in about 2 weeks, and yes, I really do have to, because it's a military rule and civilian courts can't influence that. They won't even tel me the exact move out date, since he's the member, so I don't even know exactly when me and my 3 kids and all our stuff are supposed to be out.

Court is tomorrow. I wonder how this will play out for him. He claims he told his attorney to tell mine, but there are a few reasons I don't believe that. I'll keep them to myself so I can explain them as needed in court though, if anyone asks. :) I had a mild emotional breakdown when I first got the phone call this morning, but I'm learning how incredibly, ridiculously strong I am when I need to be, so I pulled my shit together after crying for ten minutes and I'm okay. The kids don't know yet, because I can't tell them until the hearing tomorrow, when I figure out what I'm going to have to do. Who does this to their kids though? Especially a special needs kid who doesn't deal well with change?

I debated posting because it seems like everything I say might aggravate the situation by inflaming him, but damn it, he's going to act badly no matter what I do, so might as well just talk.

Nature_Girl posted 7/17/2013 22:40 PM

What a lowlife bastard. Lawsey, I really want to kick him where it counts.

(((Coraline)))
(((kids)))

GabyBaby posted 7/17/2013 22:41 PM

Ditto Nature_Girl.
Do you have family or help nearby that can help you get the move done on record time?

((( Coraline and kiddos )))

persevere posted 7/17/2013 22:46 PM

What kind of a lowlife could do that to his children????

I'm so sorry Coraline.

dmari posted 7/17/2013 23:23 PM

no no no no no!
I sent you a pm.

peridot posted 7/17/2013 23:23 PM

This will not go over well in court for him.

Skan posted 7/17/2013 23:30 PM

Oh, I would pay to be a fly on the wall when the judge hears about THIS bullshit tomorrow! Yeah, they really love adulterous POSs that boot their wives and children out of the house onto the street. I hope the judge awards you both of his ears and that ridiculous excuse for a forward-facing tail. Which you might need tweezers to find.

Coraline posted 7/18/2013 03:10 AM

Skan, your posts are always some of my favorites, lol. :)

I have some friends here and all are willing to help me. I just have no idea how it will be possible for me to pack this house up. We have SO MUCH STUFF, and 3 kids, 2 of them very little. I really *need* a moving company to do it, but I don't know how to pay for that, and I can probably only afford a 2 bedroom in this expensive city, which sucks with 3 kids, but whatever. We're going to need a big storage unit for the rest of our stuff.

I'm not going to stress about it until I know what I'm expected to do. Then I'll figure it out, and it's going to suck, but I will manage. I'm just so, so devastated for my kids. This block of this neighborhood is something special. Our neighbors help each other out like family. I hang out with my next door neighbor literally 5 to 7 days each week. She's one of my best friends in the world. We both have 3yo girls, who are best buddies and play together all the time, and my 1yo thinks she's her second mother. 1yo cries whenever neighbor leaves, always runs to her to be picked up whenever she sees her, etc. My 9yo has friends she goes out to play with literally every day. I can't believe he's doing this to them.

He can hide behind military rules as his excuse all day, but he didn't give a crap about rules when he was boinking his married co-worker, or when he was boinking that 20yo girl 8 years ago (because I no longer believe that was an EA, after finding out this wasn't) or when he was violating HIPAA with this new one. Now we're all supposed to believe he cares? Please. If he hadn't told housing to kick me out, they wouldn't have. Plain and simple. But even if he HAD to tell them, he could've made sure I had proper notice, so I could secure a new place and prepare my kids.

Vulcanized posted 7/18/2013 03:32 AM

(((Cora))))

No good words for you, just some hugs & some empathy.

He sounds like a real fucking shit. I'm sorry.

confused615 posted 7/18/2013 05:23 AM

He's having you thrown out of your house? He is having his children thrown out of their home?

OMG.

You read alot of shitty things here on SI...this is one of the worst. Wow. Im speechless.

SBB posted 7/18/2013 05:42 AM

What a poor excuse of a human being.

Take heart friend - he has so few buttons to push he is getting desperate. The behaviour and acting out escalates because they have run out of buttons.

You'd think they'd at least try to hold on a tiny bit of self-respect by not doing awful things to their kids. Alas, no. They can't even manage that.

((Coraline)) whatever happens YOU ARE GOING TO BE A-OK.

He can do things to inconvenience you and make your children's lives harder than they need to be. But his opportunity to do so will run out one day.

At the end of the day he will be the sad lonely guy who no-one visits in the nursing home whilst you are enveloped in the warmth and love of your family until the end of your days.

Your kids and mine will be grown ups for far longer than they are children. He is continuing to make the biggest mistakes of his life and he is too dumb to realise it.

He will reap what he sows. You can count on that.

welcome14 posted 7/18/2013 06:40 AM

Have you gone to his Commander? If they are decent people they will help you with this bs. The exhusband's supervisor called me to tell me how unhappy the xh was and couldn't I just let him come home? I told her exactly what he had done, and at the end of the call, she said she had to go. To go kick his ass. And that's a quote. Good luck, I know you will find a way to persevere.

Strongmama posted 7/18/2013 06:40 AM

What a lowlife POS! You make sure that judge know just what an upstanding soldier he is...NOT! I'm so sorry he is doing this to you and your babies. My EX pos is military too, and let me tell you some of these creeps think they are above the law! Mine thinks he's Major God! They are pathetic broken people.
You sound very strong and you'll be amazed at just how strong you are. He does not deserve you or those precious children. What amazes me is that a man (term used loosely) could actually do this to their family and these idiot OW think they've got a real catch?! Losers!
Sending strength and prayer to you!

hexed posted 7/18/2013 06:52 AM

Coraline I always read but seldom respond to your posts b/c I always have the same negative reaction ---WOW! WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!

today I just feel the need to post something.

WOW! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLY EPICLY DISTURBED FUCKING DOUCHBAG!

I am so sorry that you're dealing with this. Wish I could help you pack and find a new place.

Years ago my NPD freak -- my sons bio dad not my X. Did something similar with family student housing. All my friends were gone for the summer. I got that place moved and it was crazy hard but I got it done. You'll be OK. It does work out.

itainteasy posted 7/18/2013 08:12 AM

Coraline, if you have to move out, can't you ask the military movers to come help? I'm sorry if that's a dumb question...I'm trying to remember how my military friends have done it, and they've always used the army movers.

heartbroken_kk posted 7/18/2013 08:48 AM

If you dont have a way to take everything (arent you going back to the mainland at some point?) Can you leave it behind? You know, for him? Are you personally responsible for the housing, or is he? Cuz if it is ultimately his responsibility I would leave as much crap for him to clean out as possible, and to unencumber your NB.

GabyBaby posted 7/18/2013 10:10 AM

Heartbroken nailed it.
Ultimately if you cannot finish packing and moving everything, just leave it.
Your WH is the military member so HE is ultimately responsible for the house- not you.

He wants you out? Fine. IF there's nothing you can do (I also suggest you speak to his commander), then pack the essentials and leave the rest for him to clean up.

Also, DO check into the movers. They will make things a lot simpler for you.

tesla posted 7/18/2013 10:34 AM

First: Holy fucking douchebag! That is one cold, heartless mother-fucker.

And now -- yeah, just leave what you can't take or weren't planning on taking back to the mainland. The rest is his problem.

Pass posted 7/18/2013 11:14 AM

I just don't understand how someone can be so cruel. Be strong, Coraline.

nutmegkitty posted 7/18/2013 11:38 AM

Wow. it doesn't get much lower than that. FTG doesn't seem strong enough....