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Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

User Topic: Wasband Married?
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Shutup  Posted: 11:35 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As most of you know, my DD14 is in a residential treatment program for mental health and behavior issues. Part of her treatment program includes a weekly family therapy session that she, wasband, and I all attend together each Thursday morning.

Halfway through this morning's session, I noticed (with some annoyance) that wasband was gesturing with his hands - a LOT more than usual. And then I noticed something shiny on his hand. On his LEFT hand - ring finger.

Wasband is wearing a shiny new band on his ring finger.

Initial reaction - Whu?

Second reaction -

Subsequent reactions ever since -

Oh. Em. Gee. I think he eloped over the weekend. I think he got married to his girlfriend of 4 months (who is NOT an OW, obviously).

And then? This ad wizard shows up to his daughter's therapy session wearing the wedding ring BUT DOESN'T MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

The hell, people?

Now, I've got nothing against her. Truly. In fact, she's an awful lot like me, right down to political leanings and causes she champions. We have friends in common, although we have never met. And she has two teenagers the same age as ours and the same genders. Seriously. It's a bit spooky, really.

I'm pretty sure he just married me and the kids version 2.0. And all I can do is laugh.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
DeadMumWalking
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DAFUUUUUQQQ???

Yeah, you weren't any good, so he had to go out and find......another (inferior) version ..... of YOU!

Karma baby, karma. Sit back, open the popcorn and ENJOY!!


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2672 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Lyonesse
♀ 32943
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he got married to his girlfriend of 4 months
4 months??? I guess if she was NIK 2.0 he didn't really need to take time to get to know her - he just checked off the boxes. Wow - relationship master.

I can't really think of newbie wife as 2.0, as that would imply "improved". I can't imagine all of your awesomeness could be improved on. It's more like a knock-off version of the real thing.

Glad you can laugh at this. I hope DD is doing well. Has it been a month already?


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1799 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's been there about 6 weeks, Lyonesse. And she's doing fairly well. Or at least, she had been.

I'm concerned about how she'll react once she notices the ring. Seriously, who gets married without telling their kids????

JAMFs with ninja-level compartmentalization skills, that's who.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking after you got away from the lying cheat, YOU became NIK 2.0.

This chick sounds like NIK 0.0003. Just wait till she gets to know him better..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2687 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also? DS19 has never met the woman. NOT ONCE. The. Hell.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage



me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2612 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Lyonesse
♀ 32943
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad DD's doing OK. I know the settling in was hard for her.

Is it possible to contact the family counselor outside of the session and raise this concern? If it's true, maybe it is better for DD to find out while in the program, so they can offer her additional support?

I don't have experience with this, but I get your concern. And I did have a JAMF with ninja-level compartmentalization skills for a father, so I know how rough that can be.

(nik & dd)

Though I did when I first read this. With a hearty helping of


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1799 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry, but NIK anything.0 would be smarter than to get married after 4 months.

She may have some interests in common, but she will never be as great as you, NIK!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13871 | Registered: Jul 2011
Threnody
♀ 1558
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess if she was NIK 2.0 he didn't really need to take time to get to know her - he just checked off the boxes. Wow - relationship master.

Achievement unlocked!


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
IrishLass518
♀ 34373
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shaking head and already knowing where this will end up going. I will pop the corn you guys all pick the appropriate beverages


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1800 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Achievement unlocked!


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
Lola2kids
♀ 32789
Member # 32789
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy crap, NIK!!

I'm so glad you can laugh about this.
What a colossal douche.

(um, Achievement unlocked??? is that a video game reference?)


BS: (Me) 47
Kids: twins DD(10)
D-Day April 18, 2011
Him:out Sept. 11, 2011
He moved to Europe June 27, 2014.
"They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder but I am growing more and more fond of his absence"

Posts: 1454 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Ontario, Canada
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He might not be...Way back when, right after we separated and I was still going back & forth to the marital home, I noticed the X was wearing a band. It was on his pinky, but it was unmistakably a cheap wedding band.

I questioned him about it rather vigorously and he finally admitted the OW bought it for him. I guess she was marking her territory...she should have just peed on him.

[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 12:45 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20453 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
ajsmom
♀ 17460
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm taking the under.

The Commish


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21103 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


What an idiot.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4743 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The similarities are eery. Weird. But she is definitely not NIK and kids 2.0 ... more like NIK and kids -2.0 (that a big fat negative).


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Oct 2012
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aww... truly love you guys.
Is it possible to contact the family counselor outside of the session and raise this concern? If it's true, maybe it is better for DD to find out while in the program, so they can offer her additional support?
I'm waiting for a callback from the therapist on a different issue. Debating whether to bring this up with her, since I don't know ANYTHING for a fact - just observed the ring.

IDK whether to address it with him first, talk to the counselor anyway, or just sit back and let things play out?


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26192 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:40 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely ask the therapist the 'What if...' question. He/she should be on alert if this becomes an issue with DD and can advise you of the options on how to proceed.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20453 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
uncertainone
♀ 28108
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. Em. Gee. I think he eloped over the weekend. I think he got married to his girlfriend of 4 months (who is NOT an OW, obviously).

Oh God, I'd think I won the lottery. 4 months sounds about right. Any longer and there would be little chance of sticking around sans chloroform.

Is your daughter close to her dad? Sorry, don't know your story well. If so I agree support when told. Would part deux be included in sessions or is it just parents?


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 67
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