Has anyone had any luck in making a case to prevent your children from being with the OW/OM? Or any suggestions for how I could convince my WS this isn't in the children's best interests? (I'm in a no-fault divorce state.)
I've thankfully gotten to a place where I don't want to be with my WH and never will. So in this way, I don't care who he's with or how destructive the relationship is. However, I worry about my children - I want them to have a healthy father and hopefully a loving step-mother someday. I really want him to end this R and move on to his next victim who at least may not hate me and my children.
What can I do?!
Healing by the day
There's really no way to permanently prevent their interaction unless you can prove that she has threatened your children in some way. Morality clauses in divorces are great on paper but nearly impossible to enforce.
I'm sorry you're going through this. (((hugs))
[This message edited by lostmommy at 1:08 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]
He has a right to have his kids around anyone he chooses, as long as they're not a danger to the kids. This is something you're going to have to accept and find a way to deal with. You are no longer in control of what happens with or to your kids while they are with dad.
Morality clauses are pretty much useless, if you can even get one- which is unlikely.
If your WH decides it's going to happen, it's going to happen. Your best bet is to figure out how to deal with it, and how to help your kids through it.
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.
Judge ruled in my favor. No bf/gf while we were still technically married. After that though all bets are off. The judge said so much himself - and looked at me with eyes - sorry - I know your ex is a douche.
[This message edited by Fooled Me Twice at 8:20 PM, July 18th (Thursday)]
WXH intro'd our kids (then 6 and 2) to OW within weeks of leaving us and immediately moving in with her. It was 100% against my wishes and he knew it. He had a court counsellor advise him not to, as it wouldn't be good for the children, but he just did what he wanted, as always.
I'll hope and pray for the best for you and your kids.
I agreed -- I don't want them to have to deal with that for the foreseeable future.
Anyway, you are not divorced yet -- I think a court would be sympathetic as it is not in the best interest of the kids.
A common provision in divorce agreements is that neither party will have overnight guests while the kids are in the house. It seems like the rationale behind such a provision would allow for greater restrictions prior to the D.
I have specifically asked my WH not to introduce the OW to the kids during D and he has promised he will not. I know, however, that he has a plan to have them meet her and a few other of his friends on Saturday. (He does not know I know this. I know this bc he left his email open on my computer briefly. I don't want him to know I had access to his email as it contains some other things that may be useful in the D proceedings.)
Not sure what to do! He's lying (of course) to my face. Do I try to get someone to catch him in the act? Or just let this go and move on. I don't think it will ultimately affect the kids this one time, but more likely this is the intro and after this he'll start having her see them more. Also, I think he gets sort of a rush when he gets away with a lie and the whole thing just makes me ill.
Other than that, there isn't really anything you can do, unfortunately.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
My ex is also one who thinks his secrets are a way of getting over on me. It's funny how he lost that "power" when I stopped giving a damn. Helps with healing too!
Nearly Exh threatens that he will only hold off for a period of time and this makes me want to throw up in his shoes. It sounds very bullying and arrogant when he says it.
I have panic attacks about it actually, and several friends in the same BS boat said they did, too.
The only way I've ever heard of not having it happen is like the other posts say, if some danger to the child can be proved. Yet, I know of cases where it is very clear children should not be with an Ex and OW but are "allowed". It's sad and yes, the post about the secrets and our kids is spot on and also a worry here.
What's hard too is that Nearly exh has a large family, who protect their own, especially when one gets in trouble, so there could already be stuff happening and I won't know. And, they will treat DD as one of their own if it came down to it.
I'm sorry for your difficulties, PuzzlePieces.
I also feel this way about some relatives and DD, who knew about the a and let it go on, I think, what kind of influence is that on this little girl?
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.