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Newest Member: DestroyedDE (55757)

User Topic: Too forgiving ...
♀ 38900
Member # 38900
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is weird, this morning I looked back at my life with him. All the silent treatments I went through, all the pain he caused me throughout our marriage, all the misery. Nothing physical, it was a mental torture. Now that I have all the good reasons to say "I had enough" why do I hesitate.

It seems today it is slowly sinking in. Facts are facing me.

Left my home yesterday, staying at my sisters house 2.5 hours away. Far enough that he will not drop in unexpectedly. Far enough from him to help me think straight.

He loves me, that I know, but I need more than that now. I need him to get on his fucking knees and do whatever I ask him to do. Anything. But he won't. Why?

Me - 58 - I often have to remind myself of my age!
Husband - 58
DD1 April 5 2013 (a lie)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 22 2013
3 children
1 grand child

Posts: 265 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 25895
Member # 25895
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My guess is that he does not believe you will force his hand. Time and again, he has wiggled his way out of trouble. He is counting on you backing down once again. I think it is time that you show him you mean business. Whether it be the polygraph or a firm 180. Perhaps you should have an extended stay at your sisters... give him something to think about.

"That which can be destroyed by the truth should be" P.C. Hodgell

Posts: 495 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southern Maryland
♀ 18429
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why won't he give you what you need? Because he's used to not doing so and has been not doing so for all those decades you've been together. So why should he start now? He knows how to control you and make you come around and he is willing to wait it out until you succumb to his desire yet again.

DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - ?????
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than ever before, trying to fix something we thought we already had. It's SO hard!

Posts: 4143 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 3

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