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Newly discovered and horrified

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Rebuildingman posted 7/18/2013 17:23 PM


After 25 years of marriage, 4 kids, running a business with my wife, and pretty much an emotional disconnect for at least 5 years, I started seeking comfort of "providers" or prostitutes on the internet. It started innocently enough - massage, massage with happy, and finally full blown escorts. Well, needless to say, I got caught. You know what hit the fan all over the place, kids in distress, wife horribly hurt, family members detest me, kicked out of business etc. I realize now I have no support network whatsoever! I'm hurting terribly from what I've done and I gone and spoken with my priest and a counselor who are helping me through my spiritual/moral lapses and am pretty much rebuilding much of what I am from the ground up. But the point of my post is - when you lose everyone and everything, how do you go about finding a new support network, short of the online ones, where you can go out and speak with people who are in the similar boat to what you are! Any insights in to my situation would be much appreciated. I'm hurting dearly like everyone else.

BaxtersBFF posted 7/18/2013 18:15 PM

I've never heard of a support group IRL for WS' s. There are groups out there for BS' s. Just a guess, but I doubt you would be welcome in one of those groups.

So you're on your own...does that mean there is no R? Is your BW in the D process?

SI is about the best support you can get being a WS.

badchoice posted 7/18/2013 19:27 PM

I am sorry that you find yourself here.

A good place to start with support is therapy. Are you in IC?

That being said, like Baxter said, this is a good place to start.

Aubrie posted 7/18/2013 19:33 PM

Yeah, I see a real life WS support group going over like a lead balloon for most BSs out there. A support group for people with crap boundaries, lousy coping mechanisms and various issues? Sounds like an easy place to find trouble.

I agree with Bax. SI is pretty flipping awesome for WS. They understand, but they'll call you on your crap in about 0.02 seconds. They know all the excuses and bologna that all WS pull. They know from experience. And they'll attempt to knock some sense into you in short order. In a caring way of course.

regrettingitall posted 7/18/2013 19:34 PM

I am also newly discovered and hurting and beyond counseling and church, this site has been an eye-opener. I think a group IRL would be too shameful for me, regardless that everyone was a WS like me. SI has some great articles and resources; make sure to check them out.

If you're hurting, just holler! So many of us are in the same boat.

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