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Newest Member: SnowyOwl

New Beginnings :
Rebound or not.

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 Sue1964 (original poster member #37057) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

How do you know if your next relationship is on the rebound from ex?

posts: 287   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Uk
id 6413051
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 3:27 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Do you mean if you're not ready to date so he's your rebound relationship OR that he's not ready to date so you're the rebound relationship?

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6413062
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 4:59 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Here's a good article: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/rebound-relationships-in-a-nutshell-transitionals-buffers-why-you-should-step-away-from-the-light-when-theyre-not-over-their-ex/

Search "rebound relationship" on baggagereclaim.com and there are quite a few.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6413180
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 6:35 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Btw I am familiar with this because I dated a guy for 8 months only divorced for 5 months when we met. Great guy but the article was on point - it was just too soon for him. So it's good you're interested in learning more about it if you have any concern.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6413258
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foreverempty ( member #34426) posted at 7:56 AM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Ah crap....

Think I've just read an article written entirely about me!

Thanks Persevere.

Took me a long time to recognize theat I was a "transitional" but my behaviours with now exSO look almost carbon copied.

I split up with her just over 2 weeks ago now but I just couldn't comit to her as although I'm over being with my exWW I'm not over the life I had with her and still miss/dream/compare/ask mutual friends about/still talk about her.....

I've bought a puppy now so I won't be looking to be a transitional with anyone again. Hopefully ill stay strong enough to stay single!

Me BS: 35
Her WW: 34
D Day 5th December 2011
Current status: Filled for divorce 23rd Jan 2012. Response from WW was not to beg for forgiveness, but deleting me from Facebook.

posts: 682   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2012   ·   location: United Kingdom
id 6413278
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newnormal ( member #21925) posted at 1:54 PM on Friday, July 19th, 2013

Awesome article!

Im afraid I might be terminally unavailable. Im 0/2 with picking WH. 3 years of IC, 6 years post dday. As I approach D and think about dipping my toe in the dating pool, Im concerned. I want a companion, someone to do stuff with, but I don't want to get married again.

How do you know when you are ready? And if not, how do you know what you need to work on?

BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo

posts: 1034   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2008
id 6413366
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