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Newest Member: thepainfull86 (61156)

User Topic: Trickle Trickle Trickle
♂ 39832
Member # 39832
Stop  Posted: 10:46 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need help with trickling the truth. My BS and I can be having a good time and I'm really enjoying her and the moment we are in and then a question comes that will be a mood killer.

I always trickle because of the moment and don't want to lose it but end up making it worse because I am trickling! It's like all the guilt, shame, and embarrassment come to the surface and I fight telling the truth! Please let me know how any of you have handle these moments.

Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
♀ 39000
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've all TT'd. That's why there's an abbreviation for it.

Are you saying when the question comes in, you lie because you don't want to kill the mood? Just trying to get clarification.

Someone here said recently, I think, they have sort of a three-second rule for telling the whole truth. Take a breath and say, "Sorry, that's not totally true. I didn't want to hurt you, so I instinctively fell back on my old ways of fudging the truth to protect you. I'm sorry. The hard truth is..."

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
Former motto: "Fake it till ya make it." Now: "You can't win if you don't play."

Posts: 1523 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: The First Coast
♂ 39832
Member # 39832
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, July 18th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks! I don't like my BS suffering anymore than she already is dealing with this mess that I put us in.

Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
♂ 23667
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When we decided to reconcile -My wife and I immediately went out of state for the first week. We spent hours locked inside our hotel suite. she would ask every question she wanted to know and I would answer them radically honest. It was several hours in the AM and several hours in the PM. We would find a place and agree to stop, go eat, go shop, go walk about, and not discuss any A related stuff until we got back to the room. This went on for six days. We had no where to go and could not run even when it was rough. We cried a lot, she screamed at me more than once, we found time to laugh, hold each other and even made love. It was amazing to clean it all out... and she really had so few new questions when we returned home.

I know this is not an option for everyone, but I sure would recommend it to everyone.

WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin

Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 4

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