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Are you kidding me!!!!

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hangingontohope7 posted 7/18/2013 23:17 PM

I spoke with WH earlier when he called to say goodnight to the boys. I told him that I would need to come over tomorrow and Saturday to finishing packing my things. He said fine.

Well, I just get a text from him asking if I can get everything on Sunday.

Let me guess.... OW will be there tomorrow and Saturday. So, I can't go over. Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!

twokids posted 7/19/2013 00:07 AM


I'm so sorry it is so all about him. Never mind what would make life easier for you and the kids.

He's so wrapped up in himself that he's toxic to those near him.

I hope you are able to create a new life with peace and joy, and leave him to diddle away the meaning in his life. It's his loss.

Duffy1958 posted 7/19/2013 00:16 AM

Why can't you text him back & say "look I will be out of you & she-dog lives soon. Please don't be a jack ass about these last couple of days. Y'all have the rest of your lives right? What is a couple of days?"

Nature_Girl posted 7/19/2013 00:48 AM

Your answer should be no, you cannot fit a weekend of packing into just one afternoon.

Then show up with a box of donuts and go on about your merry packing business. Have a friend or two tag along to help you.

EvenKeel posted 7/19/2013 07:18 AM

Don't re-adjust this (even if your schedule will allow). I have been D for three years and FT STILL thinks everything in the world should be arranged around his convenience so SET THAT straight now!!!!

He will still try but at least he knows it is not all about him.

hangingontohope7 posted 7/19/2013 08:35 AM

My attorney advised me to be civil about it. This is "not the hill I want to die on." She wants to make sure I can move the rest of my stuff peacefully, without the cops being involved. He is completely in the dark that I have an attorney. He thinks that I'm just sitting back being the "good wife" because I told him previously that if he wanted his OW then he could file.

My attorney is working up the custody arrangement that WH and I verbally agreed to. Once that is in place, she will start the paperwork to file for divorce. I have a feeling he is going to be blindsided and not to happy that I'm forcing his hand. He honestly has no money to hire an attorney right now. He has been spending hundreds of dollars over the past few weeks, buying himself new clothes, taking OW out on day trips. I've seen the receipts at the marital home.

So, the sooner my stuff is out, the better. As much as I want to tell him to f*ck off and go over anyway, even if Little Miss Happy Pants is there, I know its better to play it cool. I fear that I will get into a physical altercation with her. He seemed perfectly fine with me going over when I spoke to him on the phone. I have sick feeling that she took a fit that she didn't want to have to get up early and leave with him when he goes to work. And, of course he has to side with her now because her vagina has magical powers. We are only three weeks in and he has done this several times. Sets things up with me and then changes his mind later after he has been spending time with her. He has bailed on the kids twice to take her out. I'm so glad that things are just peachy over in fantasyland with that choke collar she has around his neck.

Phoenix1 posted 7/19/2013 13:15 PM

This is "not the hill I want to die on."

^^^This^^^ Pick and choose your battles. As much as we want to not give an inch, sometimes it is more strategically advantageous to do so, even if it makes us want to vomit. If he is going to be blindsided as you believe, you will likely have much bigger, and more important, battles to fight in the future.

hangingontohope7 posted 7/19/2013 13:30 PM

That is what I fear. He will not be expecting to be served with papers. And I don't know if he will be furious and start making threats or if he will be relieved because he didn't have to do it and be "the bad guy." It could go either way.

On the days immediately following DDay, I was dead set that he should file, I didn't want to front the money because I'm not the one cheating. But, it really sank in this week with her practically living there now, that I'm extremely vulnerable. She isn't going anywhere anytime soon, he is perfectly content with that fact and I'm just grasping at the vapors of my former life.

So I had to get an attorney or my kids are going to get screwed. The division of assets is pretty cut and dry. I don't think he will be too upset about that. But I'm worried he will try to use the kids as pawns. He knows its the only thing that will get to me.

kiki1 posted 7/19/2013 13:34 PM


I'm sorry you have to go through this. Hang in there, you'll be beyond it soon.

Not too much longer.

btw-you made me smile with the vagina having magical powers.

My wh's ow's vagina was diseased--that's how I experienced dday, with a call from the doc's office.

oh yea, hers must have been magically delicious. gross

Duffy1958 posted 7/21/2013 23:59 PM

Good job Hanging. You are doing a great job dealing with the fallout from asshat STBX. I LOVE that you went stealth on him & he will be blindsided by papers. LOVE it! Very, very wise. It is the wisest manner to act, never tell them ahead of time what you are going to do. And by darn it feels good to pull rug out from under him doesn't it? "He who files first, has the upper hand."

Hang in there Hanging! Take care! Prayers! Duffy1958

movingforward777 posted 7/22/2013 00:52 AM

I'm so glad that things are just peachy over in fantasyland with that choke collar she has around his neck.

It's not his neck OW has that collar on...
I would tell him "Sorry I have plans on Sunday and want to get this done on when we planned!" and then go and do it...too bad if OW doesn't like it fuck her......don't let him start the bullshit games now or you will be playing them forever....HUGS

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