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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Did he even read the S.A.?
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For cripes sake!
First, he has defauted on paying his share of his medical insurance (CLEARLY spelled out in the SA that he is to pay his share), and now he wants to take the girls to Florida the week before February vacation, having them miss a week of school.
No, dude, you can't do that. It's also very clearly spelled out in the SA that they cannot be taken out of school for vacation.

WTF? I wonder what other points he is clueless about. Me, I know the damn thing by heart.

Oh, this is rich. I replied that no, I would not allow them to be taken out of school per the SA, and eh comes back with "we always did that in the past". WHOSE LIFE WAS HE LIVING???? We did that ONCE, 4 years ago. Not to be done again.
The farther away from this creep I get, the more I wonder who he is. I was living with a sociopathic alien.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2624 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Catwoman
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 9:12 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am waiting for my ex to find out he is paying lifetime alimony. I am sure he is counting on alimony to end when child support does. Guess Again, Clueless One!

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29739 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if it's that they don't read it or they just think they can do whatever they want. Probably somwhere in the middle.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if it's that they don't read it or they just think they can do whatever they want. Probably somwhere in the middle.
^^^This, the rules don't apply to selfish people or at a minimum they are meant to be bent if not outright broken.


at Catwoman, when I hear the explosion I will now know what it is.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 10:25 AM, July 19th (Friday)]


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1943 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know ex-shat hasn't read the decree. Oh well, I enjoy quoting it to him with the implied message, "Surely you can still read?"


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4830 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
EvenKeel
♀ 24210
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have responded to many of request with:

"Per section 4.b of our agreement....."

Irks me when I have to do that because it puts me right back into that marital-secretary role.

I agree though....they just think whatever they agreed to doesn't really apply to them.

My ex has violated all over the place with no concerns at all to breaking it.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2274 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
EvenKeel
♀ 24210
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First, he has defauted on paying his share of his medical insurance (CLEARLY spelled out in the SA that he is to pay his share),

Mine did this too. Then I finally got a "Don't have the money" excuse. Welp - ME EITHER! So I responded with "If you are unable to pay this per the agreement, I will file it though the court".

Ta-daaaaa payment.

Idiots.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2274 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Weatherly
♀ 18222
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think they read the parts they want to and ignore the rest.

I got a text the other day that said "you have to do the same since we have joint custody."

Yeah, well page 3 says I have sole physical and legal custody, and when I applied for their passports, the government said I didn't need his permission, because, we don't have joint custody.

He also doesn't think he has to provide them with health insurance.

Or that he has to pay some of the medical bills.

Or that he has to inform me of new jobs and addresses.

Or that he can't trash talk me all the time.

But, he damn sure read the part about claiming kids on taxes and refusing to sign until I agreed he could claim one every year.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4505 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMFG.
He just asked if, since he is covered under my insurance (I still have to maintain a family plan for him) he could "add his new family members?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO ASSWIPE, YOU CANNOT ADD YOUR WHORE OW AND SPAWN ONTO MY FAMILY POLICY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I send him the paragraph in the SA that talks about him having to pay the difference and prefaced it with "Can you read?" I really felt like saying "whay kind of fucking MORON are you? Can you fucking read the English language? On what fucking A planet do you think you can add YOUR family to MY family policy! WE ARE NOT A FAMILY ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


I need a glass of wine.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2624 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Baby, I got a bottle for you.

What the fuck is wrong with this idiot??


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4830 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Phoenix1
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He just asked if, since he is covered under my insurance (I still have to maintain a family plan for him) he could "add his new family members?"

That is so ridiculously stupid it made me laugh! My response would be: Earth to Moron: No, your an idiot!!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1314 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I am in great company reading all your posts.

Mine is already in contempt of so many of the SA provisions which we only signed eight weeks ago.

He is in contempt on money issues.
He has not informed me about this new address where my girls will be 30 days from now.
He has not informed me of his vacation schedule as required.

I am starting to pick my battles because I can't fight them all at once.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He just asked if, since he is covered under my insurance (I still have to maintain a family plan for him) he could "add his new family members?"
You can't make THIS shit up!! It made me want to laugh and hurl at the same time. His head is SOOOOO far up his ass!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Oct 2012
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He said bring it, in terms of going to court.
He said he wants my atty to send him all updated financial records of mine, as well as a list of medications I'm taking, and that since I am asking for money for the insurance he has no choice but to take me to court to modify the child support.

He's got me upset, that bastard. I can't afford to lose any of the CS.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2624 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to your L before you get all worked up.

You are D now...why do you still need to carry him on the insurance?

If the stuff he is saying is already in the decree, then he doesn't get to ask for all that crap from you. You just talk to your L. A letter from your L to his L saying you will file for contempt may be enough. if it isn't, I don't see why he should get all that stuff from you...you aren't in contempt!


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5628 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
tesla
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Didn't he just pull the medication crap a little while ago...sure not too original in his bullying, is he?

FTG.

Also, just a question here, but if you are divorced, isn't it illegal to carry x on your policy? Wouldn't he have to be on COBRA?


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4830 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
brokenblackbird
♀ 29541
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nutmegkitty, your WXH is upset because he isn't following the decree and it is your fault?

You do know he'll be laughed out of court for that, right?

Since both the CS and the insurance are spelled out in your SA, he won't be able to change them because he wants to.

Why do you have to carry his insurance? When can you remove him from your family plan?


Posts: 857 | Registered: Sep 2010
damncutekitty
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure what the rules are in your state, but in many states you can't get a CS modification so soon after the D was finalized. And in some states you can't get one at all unless there's a "change in circumstance". Which usually means a major change in one parents income. Having another kid with someone else does not count.

Make sure he knows if you have to take him to court you will go after him for legal fees in addition to any back pay he owes you.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
nutmegkitty
♀ 33882
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, he likes to through the medication thing out there just to get to me. :(

I have been reaching out to my attorney, but she's MIA. She said last week she had some medical issues but that we would have a call this week. I've not heard hide nor hair from her since then.

It's in the SA that I cover him. And believe me, I'm not happy about it. He's supposed to pay his portion though. And he hasn't since January. If he doesn't pay in 10 days I can have him removed for non payment and he will be offered COBRA, which costs a shit ton. He's a real dope to push this.

And yes, if we go to court I will have it spelled out explicitly that should we actually end up in a courtroom I will be asking that he pay my attorney fees.

I can't believe...well, yes I can... that eh's so pig headed that he would do this. He's such a douchebag BULLY.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2624 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
devistatedmom
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How the heck did he get it in there that you continue carrying him? I know I'm in Canada, but I thought I'd heard from enough people on here that the insurance companies wouldn't let you continue to carry someone after you are D! That is why some people here continue to be married long after, so they can continue to get benefits until they work that part out, or a medical issue is taken care of.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5628 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

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