Topic: Just wondering if....
Member # 36654
| Posted: 12:01 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013|
XWS's who leave their spouses for the AP ever regret what they have done. After they are with that person for awhile and find out that it is far worse than the marriage they left are they ever sorry for what they did to their wife/husband and family? Just curious if anyone had a WS that begged to come back after living with the AP.
BS-54 XWH#2-No longer my monkey
M-11yrs LTA-5yrs Divorced 8/15
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
Posts: 8383 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Member # 35812
| Posted: 3:40 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013|
I have read of several on SI. Especially in the separation and divorce forum. Once the unicorn farts become real, live farts from MS Wonder Vagina who is PMSing 29 days out of 30, and the AP sees the BS becoming a strong, independent person again, they quite often have the Club-O-DU-OH smack them in the head, and realize what they've pissed away. However I cannot remember seeing one post about an AP getting their head out of their ass and coming to that realization when the BS has remained Option B and continued to woo them back. Strength is attractive, IMO.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 9070 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 30396
| Posted: 9:31 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013|
My father was a WS. He had multiple A's during their 32 years of marriage. He ended up leaving my mother and marrying his last squeeze. The have been married about 18years now....he is absolutely miserable and would divorce her if it wouldn't cost him so much money. He says at his age is not worth it now.
I STRONGLY believe he regrets divorcing my mom and destroying our family. I do not like this woman, but at times have to be around so I tolerate her....but it was very damaging to our entire family.
Married 32 yrs, together 35
Affair Aug-Dec 09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Posts: 1960 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Member # 16482
| Posted: 4:45 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013|
What you have to guard against is projecting your thoughts onto him.I had to accept that he is not having warm fuzzy thoughts about our M and any regrets.
As a self preservation measure they change history and say the marriage wasn't good for years or even the whole thing was a mistake.
It took me about 8 years to accept that he doesn't love me any more and now just hates me because of spousal support. Any thoughts that he has regrets were conjured up in my mind only.
He's already proven that nothing will hold him back if he really wants it, no matter the consequences. If he wanted to come back, he would've long ago.
[This message edited by Pippy at 5:31 AM, July 20th (Saturday)]
I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
Member # 16024
| Posted: 6:39 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013|
My H left me for OW and after a few months he had his 'What the hell am I doing?' moment.
Our kids were 2 and 5 years old and he said it happened when OW's young kids were sitting on his lap looking for hugs and he realized he was leaving his own two young kids and a wife who loved him and a situation that 'wasn't that bad' for what?
That was when he asked (I wouldn't say begged) if he could come home.
“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “you’re not alone.” ~ Brene Brown
Posts: 54906 | Registered: Sep 2007
Member # 33062
| Posted: 6:52 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013|
Sometimes they do this. My now EX did after he left. A few months out asked if we could R. "I" tried to R with him, and although I learned a lot about his sick selfish personality and lies; he left again after a month of false R. Guess what? He asked, begged and tried to demand just a few months later after leaving the second time for me to stop the divorce and take him back. No thank you. I was done forever the second he left me a second time. Sick. I hope he regrets what he did to our family, but highly doubt his regret has anything to do with us- as he seems to only know how to focus on himself 24/7; or his next conquest of course.
Be careful what you wish for.
Posts: 662 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 17484
| Posted: 7:05 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013|
WS's don't suddenly change to unicorns.
They may feel like they're in unicorn land.
But skittles turn to shittles eventually.
Posts: 7267 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Member # 32122
| Posted: 7:11 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013|
I kicked out my fiancé when I discovered he was having an Online ea. (this was long before marrying my wh and it was because of my fiancé turning the computer monitor away and closing windows on the screen that led me to suspect my wh of his A's when I saw him doing the same thing).
Anyways, a few months after my fiancé left and had gone to meet his online AP, we ran into eachother. I had gone back to school which was close to where he worked. He wanted back and even talked about how much we both wanted kids blah blah blah...
I walked away!
Wish I had been that strong with my wh.....
Me: BS 38
WH: 30 (BrokenHeart911)
Four little dragons.
He had an EA with OW1 (coworker) and lots of online dating profiles.
DDay of PA with OW2 (also a co worker) October 19th 2010.
"The A is the wound, the lies are the salt" - Stronger08
Posts: 9878 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Canada
|Topic Posts: 8|