This morning the NC letter was mailed, and WW just gave me her timeline. A day-by-day chronology from June 17 to D-day.
Waiting as she wrote, I was returning to D-day. I expected to be gutted all over again, reliving D-day in vivid technicolor. Instead, I read it, and I understand it. After 10 years of marriage I know WW, I know her personal weaknesses, I know the circumstances we are in with my business travel, I know so many other unspoken factors, and it makes sense. She didn't speak to those (weakness, travel, etc...) or present them as excuses in the timeline, she mostly just chronographed the events of each day. I read the script and it fits with the backstory. It doesn't excuse the A, minimize her choice, but I right now I feel like I understand it.
It also jives almost exactly with what my gut was telling me and when.
It is light on a few details that this morning I thought I needed to know, but now I'm not sure I do. If what is there is true, I don't know that having more explicit details will help me move forward.
I feel uncomfortably content (not quite the right word, but best I can find) to move forward with IC & MC, to work on repairing the factors we both allowed to go unresolved in our relationship, and see what comes of it.
There are of course still questions, some "evidence" not yet addressed. There are also a couple of statements obviously meant to relieve me of specific concerns. Those "softeners" so far tend to be the lies. But I also don't know of any lies since I've been home now that we're face to face. Is it foolhardy to think that IC & MC will see these through to resolution?
Am I fooling myself?