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Newest Member: AmIDreaming41 (45703)

User Topic: um okay
eyenight
♀ 39488
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What the hell? I ran into bf on monday walking his dogs. he made plans for us to hang the next day not a word from him. Until today. (this was monday)
Apparently he is doing a lawsuit against my work and hes unable to talk to me because I am an employee.
What the hell? I am really confused? He has had excuse after excuse for a while now, like i cant hang at his house because his buddy has to many people coming over that know us and it will hurt the lawsuit, we will hang out tomorrow just don't know where, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I haven't texted him back yet. I dont think I am going to for a while, give him the cold shoulder like he has given me, until I can figure out a response to it.

In other news I ran into army. Hes separated. the wife is moving back to her hometown, divorce to follow. he invited me to his separated/ divorcing party tonight. I am actually going to go, a few people that I know and like will be there. At this point I really don't care. Im given the fuck off button by the boyfriend a few to many times. I just figure what the hell. A little attention from army isnt going to hurt


Posts: 133 | Registered: Jun 2013
hurtinky
♀ 26152
Member # 26152
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BF is a liar. You can bet on that.

If I were you, I wouldn't be too impressed by attention from Army.


Me --> BS
D-Day 10-1988
D-Day 9-12-2005
S 9-13-2005
D 3-6-12



Posts: 1500 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Kentucky
eyenight
♀ 39488
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that's what I was thinking. DARN it. What the hell happened things were going great but now I am on being lead around by a string.

Posts: 133 | Registered: Jun 2013
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, July 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aagh. What the hell??? I'm so sorry to hear this. BF's story makes NO sense. God only knows what he's lying about but it's definitely something.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3143 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
gahurts
♂ 33699
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 6:51 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only decent and legal thing for him to do is to recuse himself from the case because he has a conflict of interest. He should not be ignoring you nor should he be asked to.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3467 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm with gahurts on this.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4215 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Threnody
♀ 1558
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Married, engaged, or girlfriended. He's one of them. I'm willing to bet cold cash money on it.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14040 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought he wanted you to move in with him and his teen daughter? What happened to that?

Is it possible he's overwhelmed and has cold feet?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13855 | Registered: Jul 2011
burnt_toast
♀ 16891
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's very strange that he's involved in a lawsuit against your work. In any serious firms / companies, employees are required to disclose any potential conflict of interest in projects they are involved in, which obviously includes intimate relationships. Then the company gets to decide if the situation is ok (it could be depending on the level of involvment both of you have in the lawsuit) or if the person should be reassigned to another case or project, which is just plain good practice.

In any case, this should clear the grounds professionnally and personnally and leave him no reason to be sneaky about anything.

[This message edited by burnt_toast at 10:47 AM, July 20th (Saturday)]


I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams

Posts: 4734 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
eyenight
♀ 39488
Member # 39488
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, July 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It could be any number of reasons. But as far as I take it we aren't broken up. just cant interact. With the lawsuit the worry is me giving him information that they cant use at court and stuff.

I still havent texted him back he did tell me to lay low at work and be careful.

I just don't know? he isnt the type to lie. He is a lot like me were he is upfront, but he isnt upfront about whats going on at all. I'll just leave his messages unanswered. Eventually he will come around and tell me what is going on between us.

I do agree that he is overwhelmed at the moment. Hes actually getting his daughter right now (supposedly) and his grandma is in the ICU in the same town he is getting his daughter from, his brother has temp custody of his daughter until he gets her. These are huge changes for him.
I know I didnt do anything wrong. I am a good girl, maybe he thinks that I am too good for him and he will let me down.
I can deal with a lot of crap and this is some of it.

I guess the main thing is I don't know how to respond to it.

I don't think he has another girlfriend, he would of ended it with me.
Right?


Posts: 133 | Registered: Jun 2013
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it comes down to actions - and his actions are not speaking well for him at the moment. If he needs time due to other things going on, he needs to clearly communicate that, and the work thing isn't sounding up front.

He wanted to move awfully fast at first and seems to be backtracking now. If he is telling you who he is, I would recommend you listen.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 11

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