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Betrayeddaddio posted 7/19/2013 20:30 PM

Just short of three years past D-day, and here I am, twas always a deal breaker, was gonna try the Mediation route I thought, for the sake of the kids...but then yadda yadda said to my WW that.....lawyers and battles $$$$$$$.

This shit has sucked from the get go....( if I ever date again I need to order a new "picker" on Ebay!! Heavy emphasis on morals)

FaithFool posted 7/19/2013 20:44 PM

Welcome to D&S daddio. Lots of folks in the same boat, sorry you're here.

Strap in and hang on, the ride can be a little bumpy but this too shall pass.

nowiknow23 posted 7/19/2013 20:48 PM

Sorry it came to this. We've got you, betrayeddaddio.

devistatedmom posted 7/19/2013 20:50 PM

I'm sorry daddio. If we can help, let us know. You can make it through this.

LadyQ posted 7/19/2013 21:20 PM

Hang in there,daddio, it could be worse, you could be raising teenagers!

[This message edited by LadyQ at 9:21 PM, July 19th (Friday)]

tryingagain74 posted 7/19/2013 21:34 PM

Welcome. This forum saved me a lot of grief and kept me from sending a lot of nasty emails. It's a great resource to have even if you wish you didn't need it.

If you find decent Ebay bargains on pickers, would you let me know?

SBB posted 7/19/2013 23:07 PM

This shit has sucked from the get go....

It sucks less as time goes on. All of it sucks less than struggling in the crazy quicksand that is an unremorseful WS and/or fighting the fat that this is simply a dealbreaker.

My picker is on the fritz too - maybe I should try to sell it on eBay?

Betrayeddaddio posted 7/25/2013 01:24 AM

Ya know, you never really know if choosing to separate and divorce is the right choice or not when you are going through it, but after I told the WW that I am miserable and will never forgive or forget the worst thing that has ever been done to me it happened.

My WW who is registered here (Jeezlouise) but has about 25 total posts in just under 3 years, so I wouldn't really call her a member or user, she read just enough to know how to act remorseful, had this to say after it was decided to separate. "You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?" "Things weren't great between us ya know", was what she said. My response, "So I made you have an affair with your married co-worker?"

This site is great, but it can also give an unremorseful spouse a script to read to sound remorseful. She said everything a remorseful spouse is supposed to say..(but not the actions)..until I acknowledged that her betrayal was in fact a deal breaker, then the real WW came out. (I turned into a dirty whore because you made/forced me).

So House appraisal, mortgage refinancing, mediator for separation agreement, lawyers to check it......wait a year and divorced.....check.

nowiknow23 posted 7/25/2013 07:58 AM

"You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?"
Yup. Because she wanted to and could. Her "reason" is bullshit, but you know that already. You don't improve a "not great" marriage by bringing an affair into the mix.

nomistakeaboutit posted 7/25/2013 20:27 PM

"You know there was a reason I did what I did...right?"

First, Daddio, I'm sorry you've been dealt this hand.

Second, the above quote just sends chills down my spine. I heard the same EXACT words as my Xww and I were approaching divorce. I was so dumbfounded when she said those words that I don't think I responded at all. The words actually gave me strength, resolve and some level of reassurance that I was doing the right thing, because they helped me realize just how little she valued me and our family. They showed me how little she respected me and our love together (or what I thought was our love together). I hope you can find some of those same things in those godforsaken words.

Strength to you.

CluelessGuy posted 7/25/2013 23:14 PM

Welcome, daddio. She seems like a real charmer. I got close to the same line. It's in the WW script.

Don't let the lawyers take too much of your money. Settle as much as you can between yourselves. I know, easier said than done.

Anyway, hang in there and think of it all as a light at the end of the tunnel. Limbo-land was only a few months for me and I wouldn't wish the whole experience on anyone (OK, well, a couple people) but life gets better. Much better. And now that you know where you are headed, it will be that much easier to get there.

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