So tonight is my WH first night on the Job working security , tonight its at a restaurant / bar . He was reassuring me that I have every reason to doubt him but that he will make me proud . That he will keep in contact throughout the night and call on breaks and send photos when I request that he wants me to check his time sheet and know that everything will add up , that he is doing this so we can afford extra time together on dates and a babysitter . He seems confident in himself and says he knows he could never betray me again and that he doesn't need that pointless shit in his life that he loves me and is working to make sure I'm the happiest wife on the planet " that he owes me the world" . Silly thing is I believe him......is that stupid?
Now just because I believe him doesn't mean I like that he has to hold a night job and be around women who are out to hunt . So I cried and he told me he wouldn't go if I didn't want him to but know that he only wanted to make the money for us , being this is really the only work he can get outside of his job in the military . I told him to go ahead and go .
I told him even though I would like to believe that he has recommitted and is truly on a straighten arrow that my thoughts to protect myself will be in knowing I can't control his actions and he will do what he wants and if that's to betray me again then I will know then he was a waste and will end it there and search for someone who won't betray me . He of course sighed and said he understood that he could not do this again and he will not see me with another and that again he will make me proud .
So 30 min into his work I've gotten 3 txt . I'm calm now guess because I love him and yet I know I deserve love and if he can't show real love real faithfulness that again I DESERVE LOVE and someone will someday give it . Be it my husband or whoever god has in store but in the end I will have my happiness .
*hope the hubby doesn't see that comment , I know it will sting but what do you expect when you shatter someone