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So tonight is my WH first night on the Job working security , tonight its at a restaurant / bar . He was reassuring me that I have every reason to doubt him but that he will make me proud . That he will keep in contact throughout the night and call on breaks and send photos when I request that he wants me to check his time sheet and know that everything will add up , that he is doing this so we can afford extra time together on dates and a babysitter . He seems confident in himself and says he knows he could never betray me again and that he doesn't need that pointless shit in his life that he loves me and is working to make sure I'm the happiest wife on the planet " that he owes me the world" . Silly thing is I believe him......is that stupid?

Now just because I believe him doesn't mean I like that he has to hold a night job and be around women who are out to hunt . So I cried and he told me he wouldn't go if I didn't want him to but know that he only wanted to make the money for us , being this is really the only work he can get outside of his job in the military . I told him to go ahead and go .

I told him even though I would like to believe that he has recommitted and is truly on a straighten arrow that my thoughts to protect myself will be in knowing I can't control his actions and he will do what he wants and if that's to betray me again then I will know then he was a waste and will end it there and search for someone who won't betray me . He of course sighed and said he understood that he could not do this again and he will not see me with another and that again he will make me proud .

So 30 min into his work I've gotten 3 txt . I'm calm now guess because I love him and yet I know I deserve love and if he can't show real love real faithfulness that again I DESERVE LOVE and someone will someday give it . Be it my husband or whoever god has in store but in the end I will have my happiness .

*hope the hubby doesn't see that comment , I know it will sting but what do you expect when you shatter someone

He seems confident in himself and says he knows he could never betray me again

That is INCREDIBLY troubling for a WS to say at such an early stage in R. When a WS really gets it, they wouldn't say such things.

Personally,

I don't see this as a valid reason for your WH to be working in a club/bar setting just two months after his betrayal/ONS:

that he is doing this so we can afford extra time together on dates and a babysitter

I could understand him taking this job - if the money was going for Marriage Counseling; or for him to be seeking Individual Counseling to address WHY he ended up with a college girl in his hotel room to begin with!!!

I read most of your posts - and I also find it a bit concerning - that you seem to place MOST OF THE BLAME for the ONS on this college girl. Your husband made the CHOICE TO CHEAT - and the blame lies with him 100%.

Most women who go to restuarants/bars are not "out on the hunt." They are simply going out to eat, to have a few drinks and to have fun. That's my opinion, anyway.

I'd be very uncomfortable if MY WH was seeking a part-time job in this type atmosphere - because it's HIM I don't trust...not women.

[This message edited by Dare2Trust at 12:14 AM, July 20th (Saturday)]