ME: 55 BS
I too have a WH who, since dday, has done everything right. A model WH for sure but this did not make the anger/rage any less.
I just posted this response in another post but thought it applied here as well:
My dday was 10/2010 and I know that my anger and rage lasted until 10/2012. A long time I know, but I just had to let it run its course.
Something inside me happened in late Oct. 2012 (not sure what) and I remember making a conscious decision to stop the anger...after two years I was done with it. I honestly did not want to live like that and my M would not benefit from it (no, my IC did not tell me this ~ I just felt it).
Sometimes I think that I would rage out of control as a test for my WH. Would he take it or bail? As if this was a reflection of how much he really cared. I tested him often!
After 2 years of throwing crap in his face I finally accepted that he was extremely sorry, that he really did wish he could take it all back, and that he did love me.
Have I raged since October 2012? Not once.
Have I been upset? Yes, but it is much easier today to maintained control and fortunately, it passes relatively quickly.
Looking back I can say that I suppressed nothing. I was always true to myself which allowed me to fully processed the extremely painful betrayal.
Do what you need to so to get through this and have no regrets about it.
[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 5:18 PM, July 20th (Saturday)]
HIM: 63 WH
Married: 30 years
in R 5+ years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.