BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
Talk away foghater. We are here.
You keep your resolve by knowing how he is treating you isn't right.
You keep your resolve by knowing, even if you are terrified of it, that life without a cheating ass is better than being treated second rate.
I used my anger. I hit that anger stage, and I RODE it. I got everything the lawyer needed, I cleaned, I exercised.
Whether you keep the fact that papers are being drawn up or not is up to you, and how things are going. If he's being an ass everyday, and your L is filing for you to get sole possession of the house, no, don't tell him, because he will treat you worse, OR do something so you end up out of the house.
If he doesn't know you are thinking of D, don't tell him, he will try to convince you otherwise. Not because he wants you, just he doesn't want things to change.
Just keep going. You can do it.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.